Dearly Beloved

By Linda B.

A special thanks goes to the following people who have helped me with this story. Without their efforts this story would still be a piece of paper scribbled with a few ideas and stuffed in a file in a desk: Pernell Roberts, the man who made Adam Cartwright come alive in Bonanza for all of us to enjoy.  Margie Johnson, Michelle Kille, Shan Fleming, and Carol Convine, who know of my love for the man. My husband Jeff and son Mark for putting up with the woman who seemed to be forever attached to the computer keyboard. 

“How long have you been seeing this…this woman?” yelled Ben Cartwright, giving his oldest son a hostile glare across the dining table.  His three sons could see he was furious; eyes blazing, voice raised. 

Adam, the object of the anger, gave his father a faint smile.  With a slow, deliberate movement he leant back in his chair and crossed his arms defiantly; a glimmer of anger just starting in his eyes. “I’m sure you know, Pa, as if Hoss and Joe haven’t told you,” he said sarcastically, giving his two brothers a glare of contempt. How had his father found out about him and Michelle?  He thought he’d been discrete in his liaisons with her, as he was with any of the women he’d seen in the past. Judging by his father’s reaction, obviously not discrete enough.   Sighing quietly to himself as he realized his father’s inevitable tirade was about to commence.

Ben turned onto his other sons, who were still seated at the dining table.  Infuriated that he was the last to find out and that they’d kept something of this embarrassing nature a secret from him. Not that his family’s standing in the town was of paramount importance to him but nevertheless there were some actions by his sons he would not tolerate. This was certainly going to be one of them. “Why didn’t you tell me about this… affair?” He was at a loss as to why Adam would contemplate such an action. Adam, of all of his sons, should know better.  Surely there were enough eligible women in town to go out with.  Why if he thought hard enough, there were quite a number of very attractive and acceptable ladies in Virginia City suitable for Adam.

Hoss swallowed; he disliked seeing his father in this frame of mind, even if it wasn’t directed entirely at him. He gave Adam a sympathetic look before he answered his father. Adam returned the look with a shrug of his shoulders and little tilt of his head. There was nothing Hoss could do but answer and he didn’t want Hoss getting into trouble with their father in an angry state.

 “Well, Pa, it’s Adam’s choice as to who he sees. I didn’t see no harm in it. I didn’t tell you ‘cause… ummm, I thought Adam would when he wanted to.” Hoss dropped his eyes back to the table and his plate of food.  He knew his father was disappointed with him but Adam was old enough to make his own decisions.

“Joseph, what about you? Were you aware of what was going on between this woman and your brother?”

Joe didn’t like to be caught in the middle of a family fight, nor in his father’s anger, anymore than his brothers but he knew that his eldest brother was happy with Michelle. Surely their father had noticed the change in Adam because it was obvious to everyone on the ranch that he was in love. Even he and Adam had stopped their petty bickering as Joe no longer felt Adam was peering over his shoulder all the time while working. Smiling to himself, Joe thought it was actually the opposite. With Adam’s mind elsewhere, Joe could do the chores the way he wanted, without incurring Adam’s unwelcome directions. “I didn’t tell you because I’ve seen how happy he is with Michelle.”

Dissatisfied with his sons’ replies, Ben swung back around to face Adam, the source of his anger. “You haven’t answered me, Adam, how long? Or do I have to ask questions twice in this household before I receive an answer?”

Irritated by the line of questioning and his father’s tone of voice, Adam suddenly stood up from the table. With the backs of his legs, he sent his chair crashing to the floor. Hoss and Joe winced at the sound while Hop Sing came running from the kitchen to see what caused the noise. Ben held his glare on Adam, not fazed by the dramatic action with the chair.

Enough was enough. Normally Adam would keep his anger under control and remain civil with his father but today was very different.  He was annoyed that his father would treat him like a schoolboy in front of his brothers and besides he felt he could see whomever he chose.

Throwing his napkin onto his plate of half-finished food, Adam disrespectfully turned away from his father and started towards the stairs. Ignoring his father’s question as he strode across the room, his shoulders were stiff with barely restrained anger. This was all wrong. Everyone should be happy about finding out about Michelle and his love for her, not angry.

“I’m going upstairs to pack my bag because I’ll be staying in town from now on.”  Adam could feel three pairs of eyes on his back as he walked up the stairs, clumping his feet angrily. He knew he was acting like a spoilt child but if he was going to be treated like one he may as well be one.

Ben Cartwright sat stunned and open-mouthed at the table.  He was shocked that Adam was leaving home. Furthermore he was shocked by the way in which Adam had spoken to him. Was his life at the ranch so difficult he felt it necessary to leave?

Certainly Adam had never been one to share his feelings, he’d always kept them locked up inside him, but this was different. Was it because of his relationship with this woman? Shaking his head he looked at Hoss in puzzlement. “Hoss, what’s going on? What happened?”

Reaching for his father’s clenched fist on the table, Hoss covered it, trying to calm him. “Just wait, Pa; I’ll tell ya everything I know when Adam’s gone.”

 

“Gone. I don’t want him gone,” Ben cried. “His place is here, not with this woman.  I won’t allow it.”

“Calm down, Pa or he’ll hear you. Besides you don’t even know her. How can you make a judgment already about her? And I don’t think you’re going to be able to stop him now.” said Joe, trying to calm his father. 

“I want him to hear me. I’m going upstairs to talk this out with him.”

Hoss jumped to his feet, knocking his chair over with a crash and making the table shake as his thighs hit the table on the way up. At the sound of the second chair falling on the floor, Hop Sing came running back from the kitchen, his hands covered with flour.

“No, leave him be. He has to do this himself. I’m sorry, but it’s right for him. Maybe not to leave, but to see Michelle and be with her. You just don’t understand.” Hoss shook his head at his father, while he still held his father’s hand, preventing him from leaving the table and going after his eldest son. Hoss couldn’t meet his father’s eyes, sickened by his own disrespect to his father but knowing the reasons behind Adam’s need to leave.

Distress showed openly on Ben’s face. Hoss was forcibly holding him down.  Never in their lives had any of his sons acted this way toward him, as they were today. Certainly in his younger days as a growing boy Adam had been rebellious, but what boy wasn’t.

“Joseph?”

“Please do as Hoss says. We’ll explain it all soon.” Joe glanced up the staircase, then back at his father. Adam should nearly be finished packing and heading back down the stairs. He gave Hoss a sideways glance, knowing how much holding their father to the table was hurting all of them.

Adam heard most of the conversation in his room, at least his father’s raised, angry voice. What right has he to be angry thought Adam? I’m the one being accused of something terrible. All I’m doing is seeing a wonderful woman he thought, smiling as he recalled her. Packing the last of his clothes, he took one final look around the room. Leaning up against the wall, under the open window, was his guitar. 

Adam picked it up, running his hand along the shiny smooth wood. Deciding to leave it behind, he carefully set it on his bed. As he did, his fingers lightly played across the strings; the sound softly filling the room. He didn’t feel like playing music and couldn’t see himself wanting to for quite a while. Taking one last glance around his room, he picked up the bag and strode across his floor, pulling the door shut behind him.

At the sound of his footsteps coming down the stairs, the three seated men watched Adam in silence. Each one was wanting to say something to prevent him from leaving but refrained from doing so. Two knew nothing was going to stop him from leaving today, the other still surprised and unable to speak.

Adam didn’t bother to look in their direction but headed straight for the door.  Dropping the bag beside him, he reached out, grabbed his gunbelt and hastily buckled it on, still waiting for someone to say something. With hat and coat in one hand, he tucked the bag under one arm and reached for the door handle.

“Goodbye, son,” said Ben, finally finding his voice.

Adam opened the door and stepped outside, not acknowledging the farewell. With a loud click the door closed behind him.

***********

Ben rounded on Hoss, his voice deep with barely controlled anger. “You can let go now, Hoss. He’s gone; are you satisfied? Now are you going to tell me everything or will I have to drag it out of you piece by piece?”

Hoss let go of his father’s arm; ashamed he had forcibly restrained his father. He didn’t know where to begin. Raising his eyes to meet his father’s, he started. “It started a couple of months ago, just after the last yearling sale.”

“Two months ago. This has been going on for two months and you didn’t have the courtesy to tell me? I had to find out by overhearing the gossips in town.” Ben left the table and began pacing in front of the fireplace. His mind milling over the length of Adam’s affair, conducted under his nose.

Hoss continued. “Adam met her in the International Restaurant when he was dining alone, ‘cause we’d all gone home. He was late finishing the paperwork for the sales that day and decided to eat at the restaurant. Anyways, they got to talking and he’s been seeing her ever since then.”

“What about her husband?”

Joe stepped in and answered his father. “Adam said he was missing, presumed dead in a railroad accident. The carriages had fallen into a river, when a bridge gave way. It appears the searches never found his body.”

“When and where did all this happen?”

“I think outside San Francisco… about 8 months ago,” replied Hoss.

Ben stopped pacing, taking in all that had been said. He was very upset that Adam hadn’t told him but the new information was calming him down. Could his eldest son no longer speak to him? Were they so distant that they couldn’t discuss what he was doing, whom he was seeing? “Why didn’t he tell me?” Ben asked, despair now replacing the anger in his voice.

“Well Pa, ya did too good a job of raisin’ him. He knew you wouldn’t approve of him seeing a married woman, even if her husband were said to be dead.  Because the law ain’t stated that he’s dead, Adam decided to keep it a secret.  He only told me and Joe because we’d seen him out buggy ridin’ one day. He didn’t intend to deceive you Pa, honest. He was just waitin for the right time and he sure didn’t mean to hurt you just now. It’s 'cause he was hurtin’ that he lashed out at you. I know he didn’t mean it Pa and maybe he was feelin’ a might guilty about how you found out an all.”

Joe jumped into the conversation again, to help explain Adam’s actions. “He’s been so happy with her, Pa. Adam said she makes him feel alive, in a way he’s never felt before. Haven’t you noticed the difference in him? How me and him haven’t even been fighting lately?”

Ben began to recall the past two months. They’d all been so busy with the round up and breaking in the yearlings that he realized he hadn’t noticed the change in Adam. If that hadn’t been enough, there had been the details of the lumber contract to be sorted out. Ben was tormented by the fact he’d been too busy for his eldest son to talk to him. He’d prided himself on the fact that he had a good, open relationship with his sons. That they could come to him with any problems they had or discuss anything they wanted; at least he thought they could. Clearing his throat self-consciously, he questioned his two remaining sons. “Have either of you two met her?”

Hoss and Joe both shook their heads. “Nah, the day we saw them in the buggy, Adam was so embarrassed at being seen that he didn’t introduce us. He told us later that day after they’d finished their ride,” said Joe. “He was waiting outside of town to talk to us on the ride home. He asked us not to say anything to you, because he knew you’d be angry with him. He wanted to tell you himself, at the right time. I guess the right time never came up.”

“Well I’m going to have to meet this woman whom Adam just left home for.”

***********

Michelle….Adam was sure she was going to be surprised at his decision to stay in town. From the very beginning their relationship had been difficult to keep from his father. Discretion was one thing but Adam couldn’t help feeling he was being dishonest by not telling his father. He knew all along that when his father found out the truth, he’d be disappointed it had been kept from him.

Michelle wanted to start their relationship slowly and they discussed in detail her husband’s disappearance because, legally, she was still married. Adam had told her that as far as he was concerned, because Stewart had been missing nearly six months, it was time for her to get on with her life. She was too young a woman to pine her life away for a man who for all appearances was dead. 

For the first time in his life, he’d let a woman into his heart and he was savoring every moment he spent with her. Michelle was everything he’d ever wanted -- attractive, with long dark brown hair and soft pale skin. Educated with honors in the East, she matched him with intellectual conversation and although she’d never ventured West until recently with her husband, she loved the open spaces and beautiful countryside.

She and her husband had only been married three months when the accident occurred. After paying for extra searchers to look for her husband, she’d finally realized the hopelessness and decided to return to the East. Her finances were running low and to continue with the unsuccessful searches would have drained what little remained. When she met Adam, she’d been staying overnight in Virginia City at the International Hotel, waiting to catch the morning stage east.

Adam grinned as he remembered their first meeting in the restaurant. He’d had papers spread all over the dining table when she’d asked to sit with him. He’d look up at the soft voice, into the face of a woman he instantly thought was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. In his haste to clear the table, he’d clumsily knocked most of the papers onto the floor. They both laughed and when each had bent down to gather the scattered papers, their hands accidentally touched.  Adam felt shivers run up his arm at the touch before she’s hastily pulled her hand back, breaking the contact. Pink with embarrassment, Michelle stood up quickly and sat at the table while Adam finished collecting the documents and stuffed them into his portfolio. After their meal and while sipping on their coffee, Michelle quietly, with barely controlled tears, told him her story.

Adam knew instantly how she felt at the loss of her husband of three months. He’d lost three mothers; two he remembered clearly. The first -- Elizabeth his birth mother -- he didn’t remember because he’d been an infant when she’d died. But Inger, Hoss’s mother; he’d known and loved with all the loving possible of a boy.

His relationship with Marie, Joe’s mother, had been fierce and strained until he’d finally let her into his heart. He’d been afraid to love her because all the women he’d loved so far had been torn from him. To have lost one mother had scarred deeply into his heart; he’d adored Inger but when Marie had died he’d been devastated. He’d had no chance to grieve because his father had ceased to live at that point or to care about his three sons. Adam had been forced, by being the oldest son, to assume the family and ranch responsibilities until a near accident with Joe had brought his father back to reality.

From the date of Marie’s death, Adam had shielded his feelings, vowing never to be hurt again by love. Even his father and brothers were unable to penetrate the tight impenetrable defenses Adam had built around himself, unless he let them.   To Adam to show his true love for his family and brothers would have been the same he’d shown Inger and Marie. If distancing himself from his feelings meant being cold, aloof and withdrawn he would do it, if only for self-preservation. Adam knew he’d never survive the loss of someone close to his heart again, so he avoided getting into that situation all together. He didn’t want to think about what would happen if he ever lost Michelle; no, they would never be apart.

The long ride into town helped ease his mind of the argument with his father. Adam had hoped his father would understand why he’d gone behind his back but if he didn’t or wouldn’t, then they’d both have to live with his decision. Michelle had become more important to him than his life at the Ponderosa, not that he wanted to leave. He was prepared to sacrifice everything for her; even his family.  Her company was enchanting, exhilarating and he was enjoying every minute spent with her.

The sun was setting as Adam reined his horse outside the livery stable and Buck Kelly the owner, met him at the door.

“You staying in town tonight, Adam?” queried Buck, noticing the bag slung over Adam’s saddle.

“Yeah, Buck. Put Sport away for me, will you? I’m in town for a while.” Adam untied the bag and slung it over his left shoulder as he strode towards the International Hotel, smiling to himself in the evening light. After saying a quick hello to the night clerk and a request for an early breakfast to be delivered to his room, he collected his key and ran up the stairs two at a time. Still hurrying at the top landing, he rounded the corner and collided with another guest coming in the opposite direction.

“Sorry,” Adam said. “My fault. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

The guest nodded his head and continued down the stairs. In the dim hallway lighting, Adam couldn’t see the man’s face because his hat was pulled right down, nearly to his eyes. Shrugging his shoulders, Adam smiled to himself and knocked on the door to Room 6.

“Yes? Who is it?” came a sweet woman’s voice from behind the closed door. The door opened slightly and Adam grinned at the face of a young dark-haired woman. ‘My God, you are beautiful woman.’ he thought.  “Hello, pleased to see me?”

Michelle opened the door wider and glanced up the hallway before grabbing Adam’s arm and pulling him into the room. 

Adam was amused to see an anxious expression upon her face. It was as if she expected the town gossips to see him entering her room at this hour. “What are you doing here? I thought we weren’t seeing each other tonight,” she said, concern coloring her voice.

Barely inside the room, Adam threw the bag on the floor. He was delighted to see her and wrapped his arms around her in a swift, impulsive movement. “Is that anyway to greet your love?” he said, kissing her lips passionately. His left hand moving from her waist to caress her face.

 Michelle reached between their bodies and placed her hands on his chest, pushing him back slightly so she could look at his face, all the while still enwrapped in his embrace. She gazed into his eyes, a bemused expression now on her face. “I’m just surprised to see you, Adam, that’s all. Why are you in town tonight?”

“Pa found out about us and he wasn’t at all happy with the news. I wasn’t prepared to sit through a lecture, so I left and came here to be with you.”

“Oh, Adam, you know I didn’t want you to have a disagreement with your father over me. Will he understand why you left and how you feel about me?” Michelle was deeply distressed by Adam’s news and she felt tears forming quickly in her eyes. 

She knew from the way Adam talked about his father and family how much he loved them, even if he didn’t say it outright. The argument must have been horrible enough for him to want to leave the house at this time of evening.

“Yeah, Pa’ll come around. He’ll have to.” Placing his hand under her chin, he lifted her head so she looked directly into his eyes. “Because I want you to marry me.”

“Adam, what a wonderful surprise! I wasn’t expecting you to ask me so soon.”

“Well?” asked Adam, his eyes bright with happiness. All he needed now was for her to say yes.

With only a slight hesitation, which Adam thought was sweet, Michelle gave him her answer. “Oh Yes, Adam, I will. Yes, Yes, Yes.”

Laughing, Adam kissed her again, then picking her up in his arms, waltzed her around the room. Michelle giggled in his arms, cuddling into him closely, her arms wrapped around his neck.

“Mrs. Michelle Cartwright. It has a good sound to it. I like it,” Adam said as he set her down on her feet beside the bed.  He felt into his coat pocket and bought out the key to his room.

Michelle reached out with her index finger and gently rattled the key and tag as she looked into his face. “I don’t think you’ll be needing that tonight,” she said huskily. “In fact, I don’t want you to leave this room until morning.”

“Darling, I’d love to stay but um…I don’t think it’s appropriate under the circumstances. I should leave now before…” Adam’s face and eyes betrayed his thoughts to her.

“Stay with me, Adam; I want you to make love to me. Forget what’s happened between you and your father and just hold me. I need you.” Michelle could see she’d convinced him to stay as, after a long moment of thought, his expression changed from one of indecision to desire.

His longing for her outweighed his conscience and sense of propriety. With a deft flick of his wrist, from years of practice throwing horseshoes with his brothers, he threw the key on the dresser table.

Michelle held out her arms to him and as he entered her embrace he groaned, the depth of passion he felt for his future wife overcame him.

**********

Supper at the Cartwright dining table was subdued for the remainder of the night.  Ben stared at the chair opposite him. His eldest son’s chair was empty and the half-eaten plate left by him remained on the table. He knew that one day the chairs for all his sons would be empty but the circumstances surrounding Adam’s announcement left a bitter taste in his mouth. He’d expected the time to be happy and enjoyable, not angry because of an argument. 

He agonized over why he hadn’t seen the change in Adam. Yes, he had been coming home late in the evenings from town, but Ben had put that down to the business dealings, which he entrusted to Adam. 

He trusted Adam with his Power Of Attorney to arrange whatever business arrangements necessary and see them through, so he’d had no reason to suspect anything else. When Adam arrived home late the last few months, he’d discuss the days business with his father then headed off to bed. Besides tending to his chores around the ranch, Adam had enjoyed the challenge of conducting the ranch deals with his father’s full approval.  Ben had thought about reducing some of Adam’s ranch chores but somehow the perfect time to discuss the subject with all his sons had never come up.

Looking back, Ben thought of the last time Adam had come home from town and sat drinking coffee with his family while they finished eating. He said he’d already eaten in town because he knew he’d be late for dinner. All the signs were there but he hadn’t seen them for what they were; his son was seeing a woman. Ben put his knife and fork down on his plate, his appetite gone. He pushed the plate away and reached into his pocket for his pipe and tobacco. While he filled the pipe, he mulled over what he wanted to say to his two remaining sons. “How serious is the relationship Adam has with her? Either one of you can answer me and I don’t care who, just as long as I get a straight answer,” he asked in a voice thick with more emotion than he intended.

Hoss quickly finished off his mouthful of food before he answered his father. He knew his father disliked anyone talking with their mouth full. “I know he’s really stuck on her, Pa. He was seein’ her in church on Sundays and then afterwards too.”

“She was in church? Near us?” Ben was surprised, very surprised Adam had been with her in church. He couldn’t recall any woman in Adam’s company. No Hoss must have been mistaken. He shook his head and took a deep suck on his pipe for comfort, the smoke wafting slowly into the air.

“Yes, Pa. She was the beautiful brunette sitting beside Adam in our pew.” Joe replied giving his father his usual cheeky grin. Ben glared at his youngest son, who quickly dropped his grin and his eyes back to his plate.

“Sneaky huh, Pa.” Hoss laughed. “I told you he was stuck on her. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was courtin’ her.”

Ben looked at Hoss incredulously. “But he can’t.”

A confused look passed between Hoss and Joe before both turned to look at their father, curious as to his reasons. “Why not?  Why can’t he be courting Michelle?”

“Haven’t I taught you boys anything or haven’t any of you been bothered to listen? Adam is seeing a married woman and I did not raise my sons to be adulterers.”

“But Pa, Michelle’s husband is dead and besides Adam likes her,” said Joe. He couldn’t understand why his father was upset about Adam being happy. Would the same thing happen to him if he fell in love with a woman who Pa didn’t approve of?

“Joseph, in the eyes of the law, she is still a married woman. He shouldn’t be courting her let alone possibly wanting to marry her. I won’t let him.”

Hoss looked at his father, his eyes and face betrayed his sadness. “Even though Adam is the happiest he’s ever been, you’ll stand in his way just because she might still be married under the law. Don’t you think you’re being a might unreasonable?”

Ben was surprised by Hoss’ outburst. Hoss was slow to anger and yet very aware of his father and brother’s opposing feelings about this woman, Michelle. Surely he’d been a blind fool about Adam’s feelings for her and he was still being a blind fool about her relationship with Adam. How could he possibly form an opinion on someone he’d never met? Besides a discussion with their lawyer could clear the matter up of whether she was still married or not.

Smiling at Hoss, Ben reached over to him and gave him a slap on the shoulder. “Yes, Hoss, you’re right. I am being unreasonable. I think I’ll go into town in the morning and invite them to dinner. That way I can get to know her, Michelle, and see for myself what Adam feels about her. Then I’ll decide whether to stop him or not.”

Hoss and Joe grinned at their father. Both happy that for now they were getting somewhere with their father on Adam and Michelle’s behalf.

“Pa?”

“Yes, Hoss?”

“Have you forgotten that you’re tree-marking tomorrow morning with Adam?”

After a brief moment of thought, Ben replied. “Yes, I had forgotten. Joseph, go into town early in the morning and invite your brother and Michelle to dinner for tomorrow night. Make dinner around 7.30.”

“Pa, that means I’ll have to be out of bed real early. Do I have to? Why can’t you ask Adam when you see him?”

“Joseph, don’t argue with me. It’s quite possible Adam won’t want to see me tomorrow, let alone spend the day with me in the pines. Do as I say, please, without the discussion.”

Joe replied with a big sigh and roll of his eyes. “Yes, Pa.” Both Ben and Hoss laughed at Joe, before he joined in after finishing his mouthful of food. At least the three of them could still laugh together and hopefully it wouldn’t be too long before Adam could join in.

“Joseph, how many times have I told you not to talk with food in your mouth?”

“Pa?”

“Yes?” Ben gave Joe a look out of the corner of his eye. The tone of voice Joe used usually meant trouble.

“Best of luck stopping him.” Laughing, Joe continued, “You know how stubborn Adam is when his mind is made up about something. Sort of reminds you of someone else, doesn’t it Pa?”

“We’ll see, Joe; we’ll see.”

Later that evening, after Hoss and Little Joe had gone to bed, Ben opened the door and walked into Adam’s empty room. There was just enough moonlight coming through the window for him to see the now abandoned room. Even without Adam physically in the room, Ben could feel him. He made his way over to the dresser and picked up the portrait of Adam’s mother, Elizabeth. With his large fingers he gently reached out and touched her face, the glass cold on his fingertips. She would have known what to do and how to handle their distraught son -- most likely a lot better than he just had. 

Still holding her picture tightly in his hand, he ran his other along the neatly stacked books on the shelf.  Below the shelf, on the desktop, was a book, the open pages lying face down. Mindful of not loosing the place in the book, Ben lifted it up, closer to his face and read the title in the moonlight drifting into the room. Milton’s Paradise Lost. Ben smiled to himself. So he still reads it after all this time. 

Adam Milton Cartwright. Elizabeth had named their son Adam, after the character in her favorite book, their favorite book. Unrestrained tears welled in Ben’s eyes as he remembered that wonderful day when Adam was born. Within the week she was gone; gone and left him alone with their newborn baby son. Ben wiped the tears away with his shirt cuff as he returned the book to its place on the desktop and turned for the door.

Lying on top of the bed, nestled softly into the bedcovers, was Adam’s guitar. Ben was surprised he’d left his beloved guitar behind and not in its regular place of leaning against the wall below the window. Usually when Ben saw Adam strumming the guitar in his room, he’d be reclining back in the chair with the two front chair legs off the floor, his feet popped up on the windowsill as he gazed out the window. Ben smiled at the memory, of Adam happily playing the guitar that Marie had given him. 

His son had left two very important possessions behind, so maybe there was hope yet, to solve their differences. Or maybe he didn’t want reminders of the sometimes emotionally painful past. Whatever the reason, Ben knew he had to talk, alone, with his son. 

Ben placed the picture back on the dresser, facing the bed. Having one last look around the room, he left, leaving the door open. The door would always remain open for his first born.

Tomorrow he was meeting Adam to tree-mark the western section for the railway contract Adam had secured. He and Adam would have plenty of time to talk.

***********

Yawning, Adam rolled over and snuggled closer to Michelle’s warm, supple body.  He wrapped his arm around her waist, feeling her warm, soft skin with the palm of his hand. 

“Mmmm, that’s nice. Keep that up Adam Cartwright and you won’t get out of this bed, let alone the room today.”

“Would that be so bad?” mumbled Adam into her soft hair, his eyes still shut, wanting to forget he was to meet his father today. He wriggled his body closer to hers, their curves matching each other like spoons.

Michelle gave a soft, throaty laugh. “Yes, you have to go to work and I have to start planning a wedding. Or had you forgotten that?”

“I’d rather stay here, where it’s nice and warm instead of confronting my father. I have a feeling that meeting is going to be very cold.”

“Chicken.” Michelle started to giggle as he lightly played his fingers against her waist. Mischievously, Adam tickled her harder and they burst into laughter, enjoying each other’s happiness.

“You deserved that, woman,” he said, finally stopping his tickling but keeping his hands where they were on her body. With mock anger, he continued. “Imagine calling your future husband a chicken. I’m outraged.”

“What happened to the man who wanted to leave last night, but didn’t?”

Adam gave Michelle an embarrassed laugh. “Well he’s still here, just in hiding for a while longer, that’s all.”

Turning her gently to face him, he smiled into her eyes, amazed at how complete he felt with her. If he was given a choice, he’d stay with her all day but knew his father would be marking trees this morning and he’d promised him he’d assist.  He’d spent too much time on the contract to waste the effort on an argument with his father. Even though they’d had the argument about Michelle, Adam would still carry out his ranch chores. He could never abandon his responsibilities to his father and brothers. 

The Ponderosa was their life but Adam wanted a life aside from the ranch too.  But convincing his father that he could have both was going to be difficult.

“Is it daylight yet, Darling?” murmured Michelle into Adam’s chest. She was wrapped closely into his body by his strong arms and she could feel his heart beating; his chest rising and falling with each breath.

Reluctantly opening one eye, Adam and squinted at the window over the top of her hair, the curtains were half drawn. Sighing he finally said, “Yes it is; looks like I’d better get moving or I’ll be late.”

Adam raised an arm and lifted her chin with his fingers, which brought her lips to his.  He kissed her passionately. Both still felt the warm effects of their lovemaking during the night before. The memory brought an instant response from his body and snuggled so closely together, Michelle could not help but notice the effect on him. 

He studied her face in the early morning light, content with the notion of waking up beside her every morning for the rest of his life. Both were startled out of their reverie when they heard a loud knock at their door.

“Were you expecting anyone at this hour? Did you order breakfast by any chance?” asked Adam, as his stomach gave a rumble at being empty. He recalled he hadn’t finished his dinner last night, so no wonder he was hungry.

Blinking vigorously to clear her eyes and head, Michelle smiled. “No I didn’t. I’ve been having my breakfast in the restaurant.”

“I’ll go see who it is,” Adam said, throwing off the covers and padding on bare feet towards the door.

“Adam,” began Michelle, as she broke into giggles of laughter. “Don’t you think you’d better put some clothes on, or at least some pants? You’re a very handsome man to look at when you’re unclothed, and I have noticed, but is it possible the person waiting outside might not think so?” She then covered her mouth with her hand to smother the sound of the giggles.

Embarrassed by what he’d nearly done, Adam reached out for a towel, which was resting beside the hand basin. He wrapped it around his waist, tightly tucking the corner into the top as he walked to the door.

“You’d better pull those covers over yourself, woman.” Adam grinned at her over his shoulder, not wanting to allow her naked body to be seen by anyone but himself.

He opened the door, ajar enough to see who was waiting in the hallway. Outside was his youngest brother, Little Joe, grinning like a kitten with a bowl of milk, a breakfast tray balanced in his hands. 

Just moments before, Joe had entered the foyer of the hotel as the desk clerk was preparing to deliver the tray to Adam’s room. “Morning, Harold. Can you tell me which room Adam is in? He hasn’t left yet, has he? Because I need to talk to him urgently.”

“No he’s here,” said Harold after he’d glanced at the key hooks to confirm the key hadn’t been returned. “As a matter of fact I was about to take this breakfast tray up to his room, number 5.”

“I’ll take it up for you seeing as how I’m going to see him. By the way, which room is Miss Michelle Sinclair in?”

“Mmmm, she’s room 6. The next door to Adam’s.”

“How convenient. I wonder….” muttered Joe to himself as he picked up the tray and smiled at Harold.

“Pardon?”

“Oh nothing. Just thinking out loud.”

“Hello, big brother, nice to see you’re at least awake early on this fine morning.  Mustn’t keep Pa waiting, you know.”  With having said his greeting, Joe tried to peer around the door and Adam as he attempted to step into the room. 

Amused by Joe’s actions but not wanting to let him see anymore than he could, Adam closed the door a fraction further. “Joe, do you mind? I do.”

Knowing he wasn’t going to see any further into the room, Joe made a show of closely scrutinizing the door number. With a puzzled expression on his face, he looked at his older brother out of the corner of his eye. “Now that’s funny, I’m sure the desk clerk said you were supposed to be in room 5 not 6? I knocked on 5 but there was no answer, but here you are in 6. I wonder why that is?” Joe finished off his sentence with a cheeky smile only he could give, barely holding back his laugh. He was enjoying embarrassing his brother. It wasn’t often Adam presented him with an opportunity like he had right now. Joe couldn’t resist. 

With another cheeky grin, which reminded Adam of Joe as a child, Joe continued. “I can’t hold this heavy tray all day you know; do you mind if I came in….” as he stepped towards the door, with a half-hearted attempt to move Adam aside.

“Stay right where you are, little brother, and just hand me the tray, if you don’t mind,” said Adam sternly as he smiled at Joe, letting him have his fun at his expense. He knew Joe was going to play this out for all it’s worth and knew, given the same opportunity, he’d do the same. No doubt when Joe told Hoss, he’d have more teasing waiting for him, but then that was typical of his brothers. “What are you doing here this early anyway, Joe? You’re usually in bed yourself at this hour, and after a ride from the ranch too, I might add.”

Joe’s grin faded from his face as he recalled the reason for the early visit.

“Pa wants to invite you and Michelle to dinner tonight. I had to give you the message before you left for the ranch. Will you both come, please?  Pa, Hoss and me’d love to meet Michelle; really, Adam. He’s sorry he yelled at you last night, you know. He was just surprised and disappointed that you didn’t let him know sooner, that’s all. About Michelle, I mean.” As an after thought he added. ”I also came into town to see Anne at the saloon, for a few minutes.”

Adam gave him a questioning look as he hastily grabbed the tray from Joe, turned and placed it on the nearby chair. “Stay where you are, Joe,” replied Adam as he walked closer to the bed.

He raised his eyebrows at Michelle as he looked down at her. She’d drawn the covers up under her chin so that only her face was left. “Well, what do you think, Michelle?  Do you want to go? We won’t if you don’t want to. Nobody is forcing you to do anything.”

Michelle slid her hand out from under the covers and placed it gently on his arm, softly squeezing it reassuringly. “I think we should have dinner with your family Adam. I don’t want you to argue with your father over me; they’re your family.  Besides, I’d like to get to know your brothers as well as your father, as I’m sure they’d like to have the opportunity to know me.”

Adam gave her one of his rare smiles that she had come to love as he walked back to the door and his patiently waiting little brother. He was grateful she’d agreed to have dinner with his father and brothers because he needed to talk with his father. “Tell Pa that we’ll have dinner but here, downstairs in the restaurant, not at home. I’ll make the reservation for tonight….make it around 7 o’clock.”

With that said and a farewell grin, Adam shut the door firmly in Joe’s face, not waiting for his reply. Adam wanted to meet his father, but on his terms, not his father’s.  In the restaurant, neither would be able to argue the point without creating a scene, which he knew his father would go to great lengths to avoid. 

Michelle would feel more comfortable, as he knew how imposing his father and the ranch were to unsuspecting visitors.

**********

He’d shown her the ranch house three weeks ago when his father and brothers had been away for two days, checking on the lower section fence-line. While passing Hop Sing on the road that morning, they’d waved to him as he headed the buckboard into town for their supplies. A chore usually attended to by either Hoss, Joe or himself, but with everyone gone from the ranch, Hop Sing had to do it himself.

For once, the Cartwright house had been peaceful and quiet. With no one around to interrupt them, they’d taken the opportunity to make love in the intimate privacy of his room. Although hesitant at first, he’d agreed to Michelle’s insistence of making love in his bed. Something he’d never wanted to or been able to do before, without the fear of someone walking in on him. Little Joe had a habit, from his early childhood days, of entering his room without knocking first, even when the door was shut.

He continued to smile as he remembered Michelle, wandering around in his room while he sat on the edge of the bed. After admiring the lower rooms of the house, Michelle had wanted to see the room where he spent his spare time and slept.  She’d run her fingers gently over the book spines and read the titles he kept on the shelf above his writing desk. Then they’d spent some time discussing the works of the respective authors. 

Picking up his guitar, Michelle awkwardly played a few notes and, with a touch of regret in her voice, admitted she’d never had lessons or bothered to learn. Her parents had taught her to read music and play the piano, and even though learning was difficult at first, she missed not playing. How she enjoyed the feeling of losing herself in the music. He’d told her he was sorry that they didn’t have a piano because he’d loved to have heard her play. Now, he thought, he could buy her one when they were married, as a wedding gift, and she could play whenever she wanted. He felt his love for her grow as he realized they shared many of the same loves for music and literature.

With a playful laugh, she’d pushed him back on the bed, his feet still on the floor, her hands resting against his chest. Her body began to move against his, igniting a longing he had to fight hard to control. Michelle noticed his reaction and her desire for him had swept aside all his thoughts of honorable intentions. Adam wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer and rolling her under him. Their kisses and closeness had ignited a passion that neither was prepared to ignore.  

 Under her eyelashes, and with a soft smile, Michelle closely watched Adam dress. She enjoyed seeing his smooth muscles ripple across his back and arms as he pulled first his jeans and then his boots on. 

Smiling wickedly to herself, she observed him as he buttoned up his fly. Out of the corner of his eye, Adam caught her looking at him and noticed the direction of her gaze. He laughed as she self-consciously blushed, having been caught so brazenly watching him. Once he finished the last of his buttons and buckled the belt, Adam crossed the floor to her grabbing her tightly in his arms, crushing her to his body. “I love you, you shameless woman. So much that it hurts to think what would happen if I ever lost you.”

“Adam, you’ll never lose me because we’ve only just found each other,” whispered Michelle into Adam’s ear as her breath tickled his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

Grudgingly pushing his desire aside, Adam released her. Then he threw on his shirt and buckled up the gun belt. Shining a glossy black in the morning light, the holster was slung low on his right thigh, blending into one form, just the way she liked, thought Michelle. In one smooth motion, he drew the gun and spun the cylinder as he made sure each chamber was loaded. Just as swiftly he holstered the gun and began rolling up the long sleeves of his shirt. “You eat the breakfast I ordered, sweetheart; I’ll have something downstairs in the restaurant, on my way out.”

“Mmmm, thanks,” murmured Michelle, as she snuggled back into the cozy bed. ”I’ll stay here for a little while longer.”

Adam collected his hat from the back of the chair, bent over and gave her one last, long kiss. It was going to be a long, difficult day without her to keep him company and the afternoon was aways off. Shaking his head decisively, he brushed aside the strong longing to stay with her and avoid meeting his father. 

Quietly closing the door behind him, Adam strode down the hallway, the black hat now firmly placed on his head and both thumbs tucked into his gun belt. His deep thoughts now firmly onto the coming meeting with his father. He wasn’t looking forward to facing his father, not after his rude behavior and walking out on him at the dinner table last night.

As he collected his horse from the livery, mounted and headed towards the ranch, he wondered how much his father had warmed towards his relationship with Michelle. Time will tell, he thought, time will tell.

**********

When he’d finished breakfast and headed out the front door to the barn, Ben wasn’t surprised to see Adam waiting outside the house. What he was surprised about was that Adam hadn’t come inside to say greet his brothers; after all, it was still his home. Or did Adam no longer call the Ponderosa his home?

Having arrived earlier than planned, Adam realized his father wasn’t ready to leave.  He quietly dismounted and entered the familiar barn, the hay on the floor rustling under the soles of his boots as he walked to the stall. Giving his father’s horse a soft rub down the nose, he grabbed Buck’s saddle blanket, saddle and bridle then began to prepare him for his father. By the time Ben had finished eating and collected his gun and hat, Adam was back on his horse, holding Buck’s reins, waiting for him.

“Hello, Adam,” said Ben pleasantly, as Adam handed him the reins. 

“Morning, Pa.” Adam matched his father’s tone. ‘So far, so good,’ he thought.

“Why didn’t you come inside, son?” Ben said, asking the obvious question of his son and curious to know what his answer would be.

Adam gave his father a half smile before he answered, his dark eyes remained on his father - ready to see what reaction his comment would bring. “Wasn’t sure I was welcome anymore.”

Ben’s anger flared in him as he glared at his son across the saddle on his horse.  He delayed his reply while he grabbed a hold of the saddle horn and mounted, fighting to control his emotions and well aware that Adam was studying him.  Ben could see Adam had deliberately provoked a response from him. Anger wasn’t the best emotion right now, he thought, sadness would be better. Sadness for a father and son who couldn’t see eye to eye on an issue so very important to the son. They were so much alike; determination tempered by stubbornness with neither willing to back down from their choice. Would this matter with Michelle tear them apart forever? If Adam felt he was no longer welcome in his own home already, what more would happen before the situation was settled? 

Would he feel the same with every woman his sons decided they wanted for a wife?  Would his existence in their life feel threatened by a woman who wanted to be part of his son’s life? Is this what Adam would been feeling when he’d brought Marie to live with them as his wife? Jealousy?  Surely it was much more than that. “How could you possibly think such a thing? You and your brothers will always be welcome in my house,” he said, keeping the tone of his voice as neutral as possible.

“That’s right, Pa; your house, not mine, not Hoss’, not Little Joe’s, yours. It’s not as though I’m asking you for the world where Michelle is concerned is it? What is it that’s got you all so fired up? Is it the fact that you found out about us from those gossiping women in town and not from me? Or is it Michelle because you think I’m having an affair with a married woman, even though her husband’s dead?  Would you have preferred she’d been a whore from the Silver Dollar? Now I could understand you getting annoyed if that was the case but it isn’t.  You’ve made it very plain, so far, that she’s not welcome in your house. I guess that means I’ll have to get my own house,” Adam snapped back. “Damn it, Pa. I didn’t want to start the day out with a continuation of our argument, but here we are at it again. Let’s just get the chore over and done with and I’ll be out of your way.”

“You can stay right where you are, Adam, because I don’t want you with me in the mood you’re in.”

“The mood I’m in? Hah! Anyway I promised I’d help you and I won’t go back on my word. Besides I’ve invested too much time and effort into that railway tie contract to let it go by.” With that he nudged his horse and left Ben in the yard, alone.

Taking a sorrowful view around the yard and towards the house, Ben saw Hoss and Little Joe standing on the porch, their unhappy faces indicating they’d heard the heated exchange between father and eldest son. With a dejected shrug of his shoulders, Ben kicked his horse into action and followed Adam out of the yard.

Theirs was a miserable day spent tree marking. Whenever Ben spoke to Adam, all he received in reply were curt answers of ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ with a ‘Maybe’ thrown in. Adam, in turn asked no questions, completing each task exactly as his father instructed. It was late afternoon before they wearily rode back into the yard, the strained silence continuing.

Reining up in front of the barn, Adam kicked his right boot free from the stirrup and sat cross legged on his horse, his fingers playing gently with Sport’s mane. With a cool gaze of his own, Adam met his father’s eyes as Ben loosened the cinch on his horse. “You coming to dinner tonight?” Adam asked carefully of his father.

Holding in a tight grip the saddle he’d just removed from Buck’s back, Ben replied, with a light touch of sarcasm, unable to completely restrain his irritation with his son, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Instantly regretting the tone as he saw Adam flinch.

“I’ll bet,” came Adam’s cutting reply.

Ben shook his head, surprised by his own remark. Intent on making amends, Ben dropped the saddle and rested his hand on Adam’s crossed leg. “The sarcasm wasn’t necessary, I know, and I’m sorry. It’s been a hard day. I’d like to meet this Michelle of yours,” Ben said sincerely, trying to be civil.

The hurt he was feeling towards his father was reflected in Adam’s antagonistic voice. “This ‘Michelle of mine’ as you put it, is looking forward to meeting you and my brothers. So be nice, for her sake, not mine. Nothing you say now, or later will make me change my mind about her Pa; just remember that.” 

‘Why did he have to be so blunt and stubbornly unforgiving where it concerns Michelle,’ thought Adam as he waited for his father’s reply.

“7 pm sharp, at the International’s restaurant isn’t it?” Ben asked, trying to shift away from any further confrontation. At the moment, they were both tired and arguing further would only drive the wedge deeper between them, if that was possible after today’s fiasco.

“Yeah, that’s right.”

The strained silence between them continued for a further few minutes, until Ben removed his hand from Adam’s leg and bent over to pick up the saddle from where he’d dropped it. Taking this action by his father to mean the conversation was over, Adam gave Sport a swift nudge. The horse bolted forward, giving Ben no time to yell his Goodbye before they were around the corner of the barn and out of sight. Deep in reflective thought, he continued to stare after them, long after the sound of hoof-beats had faded in the evening air.

Sighing to himself, Ben carried the saddle into the barn and threw it on the rack.  Leaning against the saddle, his elbows resting on the seat, Ben dropped his head into his hands and rubbed his tired eyes. How could he and Adam get so far down this path without hurting their relationship more before it was over? Could they recover what they had in the past or was it already too late?

Using the cuff of his shirtsleeve, Ben wiped the corner of his eyes. He wished, with all his heart, that Adam would ride back in and all would be back to normal, but sadly aware it wouldn’t happen. His sad, lonely child had grown up and found happiness away from home. Did he, as his father, have the right to stand in his son’s way to reach the happiness he earned so gruelingly over the past years?   Did he have the right to hold him to the ranch, to him? He pushed himself away, turned and picked up Buck’s brush. As he did, he caught a movement in the corner of his eye. “Adam….,” he said spinning around to face the form in the barn doorway.

“No… just me and Little Joe,” replied Hoss dejectedly as they stepped out of the shadows and into the light of the lantern.

“Oh. I thought it might have been your brother.” Disappointed, Ben swung back to Buck and started to vigorously rub him down.

“How’d the day go, Pa? Get anything settled between you and him?” Joe asked quietly. He already knew the answer, having heard the exchange between his father and brother from the bunkhouse. 

“Only what we set out to do and that was mark the trees,” Ben replied, not facing his sons. “As for he and Michelle, nothing. Dinner is still planned for tonight, so we’d better get moving, otherwise we’ll be late.”

“You look all tuckered out Pa; want me to finish Buck for you?”

“Thanks, Hoss; I’d appreciate it. It was a difficult day with your stubborn brother, to say the least.”

“We guessed it might’ve been somethin’ like that.”

**********

Dressed in their Sunday best, Ben, Hoss and Joe were waiting in the foyer of the International Hotel, when Adam, with Michelle holding firmly onto his arm, walked down the stairs towards them.

Hoss broke into a huge grin. “Look at you two. You look like you’re going to a weddin’ instead of dinner.”

An instantaneous smile passed between Adam and Michelle, which didn’t go unnoticed by Ben.

“Why you just have to be, Hoss,” said Michelle smiling, as she looked up into Hoss’ beaming face.  “Adam has spoken so much of you.”

Stepping in front of Hoss and deftly taking her hand before kissing it lightly, Joe smugly interrupted Hoss. “Hello, Michelle, it’s nice to finally put a face to the voice.”

“Why, Little Joe, how gallant of you. I wonder who taught you that?” she replied with a dazzling smile at Adam, then Joe. ‘Two easily conquered, the hardest one to go,’ she thought.

With her hand remaining firmly gripped on his arm, his other hand covering hers, Adam guided Michelle over to his father who had waited aside, while Hoss and Joe said their greetings.

“Michelle Sinclair, I’d like to introduce you to my father, Benjamin Cartwright.  Benjamin Cartwright, Michelle Sinclair…. soon to be Mrs. Adam Cartwright.”

On the ride to town from the Ponderosa that same afternoon, Adam had decided to make the announcement as soon as possible. That way his father and brothers knew exactly how he felt about Michelle and what she meant to him.

Stunned by the sudden announcement, Ben politely gave a small bow to Michelle, with his head. “Mrs. Sinclair, a pleasure to meet you,” he said, emphasizing the Mrs. If his son was going to play chess with him, then he would too. The first opening moves were to Adam’s favor - dinner here instead of at the Ponderosa and now the marriage announcement. Adam had never been one for small talk, always saying directly what his intentions were.

Adam stiffened at his father’s use of the married title. Michelle squeezed his arm, confident of meeting Ben Cartwright’s approval. “Hello Mr. Cartwright. It’s Miss Sinclair; my married name is Barnes.”

“My mistake, Miss Sinclair. Allow me, Adam,” said Ben, taking Michelle’s arm to escort her to their table. When playing chess with Adam, Ben needed all the advantage he could gather. Realizing early the opening ploy of dinner in a neutral surrounding, upon their arrival, he’d asked the maitre d’hotel which table they would be seated at for their dinner.

With his eyes held to Michelle and his father’s departing backs, Adam was knocked off-balance by a heavy slap on his back. 

“Congratulations, Adam,” chuckled Hoss. “That’s one fine lookin filly, you’re gonna marry.”

“Adam, you son of a gun, if I’da seen her first, there’s no way she would have gone for you, not with me around. My charm would have won her over instantly.”

Laughing at Joe’s comment, Adam draped his arm around Joe’s shoulders.

“Just remember, little brother, I did see her first and that means hands off. That goes for you too, Hoss.”

Hoss turned pink with embarrassment, as if he’d even think of stealing his brother’s intended. 

“Aww, Adam you know I’d never….”  He didn’t finish the sentence because his two brothers were doubled over with laughter. Bursting out into a loud laugh, Hoss joined in, realizing he’d just been the butt of another of his brothers’ jokes.

Michelle and Ben, who had just seated themselves, heard the laughter and smiled as the three brothers started to head towards the table. “It’s wonderful to see Adam enjoying himself, Mr. Cartwright. He’s been very quiet and upset since he had the argument wit you….over me. I wasn’t expecting him to announce our intention of marriage tonight.” Michelle gracefully pivoted her head until her eyes met his.

Ben, enjoying the laughter of his three sons himself, turned back to Michelle, only to find her hazel eyes locked onto his own dark eyes. Michelle noticed where Adam’s dark eyes were inherited from, only these eyes she couldn’t read. “I hope, by the end of tonight, you’ll approve of me, Mr. Cartwright, for Adam’s sake, not mine.”

“That remains to be seen, doesn’t it, Mrs. Barnes.”

Michelle chose not to reply immediately to the slight, because Adam, Hoss and Joe had reached the table and were attempting to sit down without knocking the small table with their long legs. Instead she changed her intended reply. “Please call me Michelle, Mr. Cartwright.”

“Very well, if you insist, Michelle it is,” was Ben’s cool reply.

The evening flowed uneventfully. Ben and Adam polite with each other, while Hoss and Joe entertained Michelle with various tales from Adam’s past.

“You’ve carved yourself quite a ranch out here in the wilderness, Mr. Cartwright.  I’ve heard talk around town that you are very wealthy and own the largest ranch in Nevada?” asked Michelle, when the conversation slowed because their meal had arrived.

Ben wondered quickly at the nature of question before replying. “I don’t like to discuss the financial matters of the ranch, but I am rich in the sons who helped make the ranch the success it is today. A large credit must be given to Adam, who was with me when I first started with only a small piece of land, a few head of cattle and two young sons. Today he controls most of the financial matters for me.  Without my son’s help, I would not have been able to make what we have today. “

“Adam darling, you didn’t say any of this to me before; why not?”

Adam carefully ran his eyes over the people seated at the table, before he answered. “I wanted you to love me for who I am, not for what my name is.” He reached over and took Michelle’s left hand in his and continued. “As I said earlier, I’ve asked Michelle to be my wife. We’ve set the date…May 18 and I’d like you all to be at the wedding.”

“Hot diggity, Adam!”

“You’ll make a pretty sister, Michelle. Won’t she Hoss?”

“That’s only three weeks away, Adam. Why all the rush?” asked Ben.

Adam grinned as he caught Michelle’s smile out of the corner of his eye. He’d warned her that his brothers would welcome her into the family with open arms and they hadn’t let him down. “Why not, Pa? I love her and she loves me, what else is there?”

Ben looked imploringly at his eldest son. He wanted time to find out more about the woman that Adam wanted to marry. “What do you know about her?” he asked of Adam, as though Michelle wasn’t seated at the table.

Before Adam could answer, Michelle replied, “I have told Adam every single thing there is to know about me. I have no secrets, not from him nor you Mr. Cartwright; none what so ever,” meeting Ben’s hard, uncompromising stare.

Joe and Hoss watched the struggle over Adam between their father and Michelle.  In their heart, both brothers knew that their father would have to loose. As much as Adam loved his father and his life at the Ponderosa, Michelle’s love was more fulfilling; it’s what he needed to make himself complete. They could see how Michelle’s love had changed their brother for the better; why couldn’t their father?

Adam’s head was held high, but his eyes were dropped onto Michelle’s soft hand held in his.  He didn’t want to force his father into accepting her, but accept her he was going to.

Ben knew he was loosing the fight too. He should be looking at the marriage as gaining a daughter, not loosing a son. But there was something holding him back from joining his family’s happiness and yet he couldn’t describe it, even to himself. When he’d seen Elizabeth, Inger and Marie in love with him, they gave everything to him, nothing was held back. With Michelle, there seemed to be a hesitancy, a mystery as though not all had been revealed to Adam. He couldn’t see her being happy at the Ponderosa. Although he was reluctant to give his approval, Ben knew he had to; otherwise, Adam would be lost to him forever. “Adam, son, your happiness means everything to me.  I won’t stand in your way.  You have my blessing, both of you.”

“Thanks, Pa.  Umm, there is one more thing….”  With a shy smile, which Ben hadn’t seen on Adam’s face since a young child, Adam coughed anxiously while he waited for his father’s reply.

 “Yes, Adam?”

“Would you give Michelle away at the wedding?  With her father being dead and all, she’d love for you to walk her down the aisle to me.”

With only a slight hesitation and a forced smile on his lips Ben agreed. “Michelle, I’d be honored to take your arm in the church.”

Adam slowly let out his breath; he hadn’t realized he’d been holding it. So had Hoss and Little Joe. All four men laughed together, enjoying their old comfortable camaraderie again. Michelle laughed lightly as she gazed over Adam’s shoulder and met the eyes of the man two tables away. He returned the smile.

***********

The next morning Hoss, who had stayed in town that night instead of returning home with Ben and Joe, went in search of his older brother. Adam had asked him to ride back to the Ponderosa with him in the morning.

After knocking on the door to both Adam and Michelle’s rooms and not receiving an answer, he returned to his room and locked the door. Pocketing the key, he headed down the hallway to the staircase. Clomping down the hotel stairs, Hoss could see the desk clerk reading a paper at his counter. “Howdy, George, do you know where my brother Adam is? He wasn’t in his room and I don’t think I saw him in the restaurant for breakfast neither.”

“Adam had breakfast delivered to his room this morning, Hoss. On his way out this morning he said he was going to the livery to check on his horse. Said something about one of its legs wasn’t too good yesterday afternoon when he rode in.”

“Thanks, be seein ya.”

“Bye, Hoss.”

“I almost forgot this,” said Hoss as he fished his room key from the pocket and placed it on top of the newspaper George had been reading.

“Thanks, so had I. Just been reading about a murder over in Sacramento, which made the front page. Pretty gruesome details.”

“Don’t interest me none, not one bit.” replied Hoss as he pushed open the hotel doors and stepped out onto the porch.

As he strolled across the main street, Hoss saw Adam’s Sport saddled and tied to the hitching rail outside the livery. Stopping beside the horse, he gave him an affectionate pat. As he did a gentle run down its legs with his hands, he heard voices, a male and female in the livery. He decided not to enter and interrupt them, thinking Adam and Michelle wanted a private moment. Standing as close as he was to the doorway, he couldn’t help overhearing their conversation. “Oh, Darling, it’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you terribly.”

“Yeah, so you should,” replied the man as he laughed. “How are the plans going with Cartwright?”

Hoss didn’t recognize the man’s voice; it wasn’t Adam’s but the woman’s was certainly Michelle’s.

“Couldn’t be better. The wedding date is set for May 18 and everything is going to plan; he doesn’t suspect a thing. We’ll still go ahead and do what we planned before the wedding.”

“What about his family? Any trouble likely from them?”

“His father may suspect something -- I’m not sure -- but I think I finally won him over, at least for the time being. I’ll have to be very careful around him.”

“And the brothers?”

It was Michelle’s turn to laugh. “I have them eating out of the palm of my hand like two little birds, Stewart Darling.”

‘Stewart?’ Hoss thought. ‘That’s her husband’s name.’

“Hello, Hoss, you looking for me?”

Startled, Hoss heard Adam’s voice close behind him. He hadn’t heard his footsteps because he was so engrossed in the conversation between Michelle and her supposedly dead husband. Hoss spun around, guilty at being caught eavesdropping.

“Adam….”

Just as he started to think of something to say to Adam, Michelle came rushing out of the livery.

“Adam Darling, there you are. Why hello, Hoss, I didn’t know you were waiting outside for Adam.” Michelle slid her arm through the crook of Adam’s arm. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, even in the livery. Where were you?”

Adam leant over Michelle and kissed her forehead, smiling as he thought how sweet it was that Michelle wanted to see him; he’d only been gone a few minutes.

“I stopped by the mercantile to order…er, something. Bert saddled Sport for me while I was there I see,” Adam said, quickly changing the subject of what he was ordering at the mercantile. Mr. Hanson was going to receive delivery of the piano in time for the wedding. He’d be able to give it to Michelle as the wedding gift he planned. “Looks as though his leg is fine to me. What do you think Hoss? By the way, what did you want me for?”

“Nothin’ that can’t wait, Adam.” Hoss gave Michelle a quick glance as he walked past her and into the livery. He couldn’t see anyone inside, but then he hadn’t expected to. Whoever had been in there talking to Michelle would be long gone by now. 

Leaning against his horse for comfort, Hoss couldn’t believe what he’d overheard.  Michelle’s husband was alive and in Virginia City. They were planning to do something to Adam, but what? ‘Better get on home to Pa and talk it over with him as to what we do,’ thought Hoss as he threw the tack on the horse and led him outside. 

Adam and Michelle were still outside, arm in arm and talking softly.

“You ready to go back home now?”

“Yeah.”  Hoss glanced at Michelle to see her reaction.