First Dance

By  EPM

Stopping on the rim of the hill, the three men sat motionless in their saddles. They looked down over the grassy, shallow basin, wide-eyed at the horrific scene below them. The only sound that could be heard was the wind shaking the new leaves on the hardwoods. Above, carrion birds floated on silent wings.

Ben Cartwright's eyes registered the carnage below than his mind realized the consequences. “Please, please," he prayed, as he searched for the familiar figure among the scattered bodies of the dead and dying.

**********

"Because I asked your brother Adam, that's why." Ben's voice rose another notch as he stared at his youngest child. "You already have plenty to do and I suggest that you get at it."

Reluctantly, Joe said, "yes sir" and walked through the barn doors. He gave Adam a sour look as he passed by.

"Now what's that all about?" Adam asked as he walked toward his father, leading Sport as he came.  

"Oh, your younger brother seems to think it should be him going instead of you, that's all." Ben's voice had returned to its normal volume and he smiled as he spoke.

"It's ok with me if Joe goes instead of me. I really don't care one way or the other." Ben knew that Adam really didn't care if he went or not but he did.

"No son, I want you to go. Do you have everything?" asked Ben.

**********

While riding out to survey some grasslands on the northern part of the ranch, Ben had found a group of ten so wagons camped on Ponderosa land. His first instinct was to send them packing by the shortest route possible but after speaking with some of the travelers, he realized they had no intention of encroaching on his property and were indeed, just trying to find the shortest route to California. Ben decided that what was best for both the travelers and himself was to have someone lead them off the ranch and send them on their way. All his boys had been working hard and would gladly have volunteered for the job. Joe would see it as an adventure and a chance to escape the sometimes mundane life of a rancher. Hoss would see it as a chance to help people and to travel through some of the high country that he loved so much. And Adam---his serious, no nonsense eldest, what would he think? Ben shook his head and sighed. He'd take it on as a responsibility, to his father and to the ranch. Not that Ben could ever fault his son's work ethic, but he often wished that Adam would sometimes see things through Hoss' and Joe's eyes. It might take some of the stiffness out of his spine and allow him to enjoy his life a little more.

**********

"Ah Pa, you with me? I said I'm ready." Adam cocked his head to the side and gave his father a questioning look. "You were a million miles away."

Adam's voice broke through Ben's musing. "Was I---well, no matter. Shouldn't take you more than a week or so to get them well on their way and come home. You be careful now." Suddenly, Ben took hold of Adam's shoulders and pulled him into an embrace. He held him for a moment and said, “have a good time son." Then let him go.

Adam was surprised and puzzled by his father's seemingly odd show of affection. He backed away, only stopping after bumping into Sport. "I'll be home as soon as I can Pa." He looked over at Hoss and Joe who both were openly smiling at their older brother's discomfort. "You two try to stay out of trouble," he said as he mounted. He tightened his legs and Sport responded.

**********

Adam rode off toward the wagon train's encampment. Now what was that all about, he asked himself? I swear, just when I think I have Pa all figured out, he does something I don't expect. And what did he mean--have a good time? I didn't know I was doing this to "have a good time." I'm going to see that these people get off our land and are safely on the trail to California. His dark brows wrinkled and tried to meet in the middle of his forehead.  Maybe when I'm a father...

He reached the camp well before noon. It was a beautiful spring day, not too hot but warm enough to promise that summer wasn't far behind. As he approached, he saw a pair of green eyes framed by dark brown hair, peering at him from the opening in the back of the last wagon. "Good morning Miss. Can you tell me where Mr. Randsom might be?" Adam asked, a warm smile lighting his handsome face.

Without revealing anymore of herself, she answered in a quiet, shy voice: "You'll find him in the lead wagon." Before he could say thank you, she disappeared deeper within the darkness of the wagon. He smiled to himself and rode on ahead.

Adam noticed that the train was made up of outfits that were in good repair, pulled by animals that were obviously well cared for. It was rare to see the combination, especially this far into the journey. A sudden vision of his own days as part of several wagon trains intruded on his thoughts. Most of the trains he and his father had been a part of were not always so lucky. But the reason was the same; a new land, a new start. A chance to build a dream.

Amid the bustle of activity, Adam arrived at the first wagon. A man, not much younger than his father, stood urging the people to break camp and get ready to move. "Mr.Randsom?" he inquired.

"Yes, you must be one of Ben Cartwright's sons." The man stopped and held his hand out toward Adam. "Your father told us he would be sending one of you as a guide. Welcome."

"Thank you, sir. Please call me Adam." He shook the leader's hand.

"Are your people ready?" Adam asked, anxious to be on the trail.  The trip across the Ponderosa was fairly easy. What the train would face after that would be harder on man and beast.

"Yes Adam, we're ready and very glad to have you as a guide. You should know, however, we do have a scout already. But your father felt very strongly that one of you should lead us across your land," Mr. Randsom said.

"Yes, well my father has strong ideas about a lot of things," Adam replied, holding on to a laugh. We haven't had the best of luck with people who say they are just passing through. They seem to think the Ponderosa would make good homestead land."

"Well, you can't blame them for thinking that, young man. It certainly is beautiful country." The leader of the train smiled back and looked at the distant hills.

"Yes sir, it is. And every inch has been hard won with a lot of sacrifice on the part of my family." Adam's tone had turned serious. "We try to accommodate travelers who want to cross our land but we won't tolerate those who abuse our hospitality."

"Sounds like a threat to me." The voice and the message made Adam turn in his saddle. The figure of the man who had spoken was tall and broad shouldered with dark hair, like his own. But there the likeness ended. He was older than Adam by about ten years with eyes an errie light gray in color.

"Not a threat, just a statement of fact---ahh, Mr...?" Adam's gaze did not move from the stranger's face.

"Cooper, John Cooper and I'm the scout for this train." His tone held an edge of antagonism. “I told Mr. Randsom we don't need any help but it seems your father thinks otherwise."

"Yes, he does and since it's our land, what my father thinks is all that's important." Adam's tone mimicked the scouts.

Adam turned away from Cooper and addressed the wagon train's leader. "Shall we be on our way?"

"Yes, yes of course. Mr. Cooper, would you please pass the word that we're ready to move?" Adam watched the interchange between the wagon master and the scout. Something wasn't right but Adam had no way of knowing what. Randsom seemed nervous and Cooper had an air of arrogance about him. Well, as long as it doesn't interfere with these wagons getting off the Ponderosa, it's none of my business he thought.

**********

The small train started to move forward. Adam had forgotten how slowly the wagons moved.  He could only liken their pace to a lumbering herd of cattle pushed along at round up. Well, at least the wagons didn't kick up as much dust as cattle and they didn't smell as bad either. They stopped about mid afternoon to rest the horses and allow a light meal for the passengers. Adam spied a small grove of hardwoods and headed for their shade. He dismounted and loosened Sport's cinch and removed his bridle. The big chestnut grazed contently while his master ate the lunch Hop Sing had packed for him. After finishing his sandwich, Adam leaned his back against the trunk of the tree that sheltered him and pulled his hat down over his eyes.

Half-dozing in the afternoon warmth, Adam suddenly heard a rustling noise behind him. With practiced ease, his right hand went to his gun as he turned toward the sound. The sight that greeted him let tense muscles relax and he smiled up at his visitor. "Well, hello green eyes," he said.

Before him stood the young girl who had earlier directed him to the Randsom wagon. Tall and skinny with long coltish legs that didn't seem to fit just yet, she must be all of twelve or thirteen he thought. Pieces of dark chestnut hair fell out of her long braids. "Hello yourself," she said. "You joinin' the train?" She drew lines in the dust with her bare toes as she spoke to him.

"No, I'm just here to make sure you folks get safely across our land and on the right trail to California. Then I'll be going home." He stood up and reached for Sport's bridle.

"Then you must be the owner." She cocked her head to the side and looked up at him with questioning eyes. "Kinda young for that, aren't ya?"

He gave a soft laugh and responded, “The land belongs to my family."  We have a ranch called the Ponderosa and this is part of it." He walked to Sport and started to tack up. "You know, I usually like to know the names of the young ladies I meet. Care to enlighten me?"

"Elizabeth, but everybody calls me Lizzie; they think it fits." She dropped her eyes and looked away from him. "Guess they're right," she sighed.

"Well, Miss Elizabeth, it's time this train started to move again. Where's your wagon?"

"Oh, not far" She started to ran back to the encampment when she suddenly stopped and turned back. "Hey, I like to know the names of the men I talk to. What's yours? He heard her giggle.

"My name's Adam Cartwright and I'd be pleased if you'd call me Adam." A bright smile played across his face.

Her giggle became a laugh as she disappeared behind the wagons.

Adam mounted and rode to the head of the train. Now that little thing will grow up to be a handful for some lucky man he mused, the smile still played across his handsome face.

The rest of the day and into the early evening was spent moving along the edge of rolling meadows, criss-crossed by shallow swift running streams. Wild flowers bloomed everywhere adding to the beauty of the land. No wonder people wanted to stay Adam thought. Even though still a young child, he had felt something take hold of his heart when he and his father first saw it. That sense of wonder and respect only deepened as he and his family buried their roots into the Nevada soil.

Adam's thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of the Randsom party's scout. "Well Cartwright, you in such a hurry to get rid of us that yer gonna run this train all night?"  He spat the words out as a challenge.

Adam looked at him for a moment, raised an eyebrow then turned and rode toward the wagon master, leaving Cooper staring after him. He refused to speak to this man unless it became necessary for the safety of the passengers. Adam had taken an instant dislike to him but more importantly, his instincts told him not to trust the man.

"Ready to settle in for the night, Mr. Randsom?" Adam walked Sport along side the wagon master's rig as he spoke to him.

"Yes Adam, I think everyone has had a full day. The Mrs. and I would be pleased if you'd share meals with us while you're here. Since your family has been nice enough to let us pass through your land, we feel that's the least we can do." Randsom introduced Adam to his wife, a short, stout woman near her husband's age with sparkling blue eyes and a ready smile.

"You're more than welcome, young man. We'd be glad for the company," said Mrs. Randsom. "It'll be nice to cook for a youngblood again." Her laugh was hardy and genuine and Adam couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you, ma'am.  I'll look forward to it." Adam's attention went back to Mr. Randsom. "I'll ride back and tell folks to circle up for the night."

Sport pivoted around and Adam guided him from wagon to wagon. Reaching the last, he saw Elizabeth sitting between a man and a woman. "Hello Miss Elizabeth, ready to stop for the night?"

"Sure am, Adam. Didn't think we were ever gonna have dinner," the youngster replied.

"Elizabeth Johnson! Where are your manners, calling an adult by his first name." Mrs. Johnson was shocked and embarrassed by her daughter's seemingly rude behavior.

"Please mam, it's my fault. I asked Elizabeth to call me Adam. She didn't mean any disrespect." Adam was quick to defend the young girl's action to her parents. No need for her to get into trouble for something he had done. And besides, he had a feeling that this little girl could find plenty of mischief around any corner; she didn't need his help.

The man to Lizzie's left spoke up. "Mr. Cartwright, I'm Cliff Johnson and this is my wife Emily. Lizzie told us she'd already met you." He smiled at his child than looked back at Adam.

"Yes sir, we did. We met at our last stop. Miss Elizabeth was kind enough to keep me company." He smiled at the young girl who was now climbing down from the wagon.

"You got a place to eat tonight Adam?" Lizzie asked. Mrs. Johnson just sighed and looked heavenward.

"Yes I do. I'll be taking my meals with the Randsoms but thanks for thinking about me," Adam answered.

Emily Johnson spoke before her daughter could reply. "Perhaps you'd do us the honor of eating with us one night, Mr. Cartwright. We'd be glad to have you."

"Thank you Mrs. Johnson. I'd be happy to." Adam looked back toward the head of the train. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way." He moved his fingers to the brim of his hat and tipped it slightly before riding away.

Elizabeth looked at the back of their retreating visitor. Something new and unknown stirred within her. Suddenly embarrassed and confused by what she felt, she looked away. Somehow being near Adam Cartwright brought on feelings she had never experienced before. But that's crazy, she thought to herself. He's just a dumb old boy and ancient at that!

"Yes Ma, I'm coming." Elizabeth answered her mother's call for help with the supper chores. Thoughts of the handsome, dark stranger still danced in her head as she went to help her mother.

***********

Dinner with the Randsoms would have been a pleasant affair had it not been for the presence of John Cooper. The man made Adam think of a sneaky cur: hovering, waiting, ready to snap.  Maybe his instincts were wrong this time. Just because he didn't like the man didn't mean he was up to something.  He turned his attention back to his hosts.

"That was a wonderful meal Mrs. Randsom. Thank you." Adam stretched his long arms behind him and stood up. “Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll bed down. Good night." He smiled and walked toward Sport who was grazing contentedly.

The night was warm and sleeping outside was a pleasure not a heartship. Adam laid in his bedroll and thought back to his father's last words---"have a good time son." He was suddenly very relaxed and contented. Yes, that was the word---contented. No decisions to make, no one to worry about--- no responsibilities. Well Pa, I don't know about “a good time" but certainly peaceful. Maybe that's enough. He turned on his side and brought the blanket up around his shoulders. Sleep soon found him.

Adam didn't know what it was that roused him but he was suddenly awake. After taking a moment to orient himself, he listened for anything that might seem out of place. The creaking of leather made him look over where the horses were staked out. He squinted into the dark night. Only the palest of moons hovered, casting very little light. He could just make out a single individual, saddling a horse. He decided he would learn more by just being still and watching. Soon, the shadow of a man led a horse to the edge of the camp, mounted and rode away.

Adam waited until horse and rider were well out of sight then got up and went to the picket line. It was Cooper's horse that was missing. Now that's interesting, he thought. Why would he sneak out of camp in the middle of the night? No towns near, no settlements. He checked on Sport, more out of habit than necessity and returned to his bedroll. Something was not right but he decided he'd wait for Copper to show his hand.

**********

Adam had spent the rest of the night in restless, fitful naps. He rose early and went to the stream to wash the sleep from his face. He had thought about not shaving until he was ready to return home but decided his heavy beard would only itch, as the days became warmer. Pulling out a piece of Hop Sing's soap, he lathered his face and neck. He opened his razor and looked down into the water. Staring back at him was Elizabeth's reflection. Smiling, he turned and said, "Good morning, Miss Elizabeth. What brings you out so early?"

"Oh, just getting some water for my mother," she said, holding the bucket out in front of her.

"How about you let me do that for you," Adam said and reached for the bucket. He leaned down, washed the soap from his face than filled the pail.

"You don't have to do that Adam, ahh Mr. Cartwright. I can carry it," she said in a suddenly shy voice. She reached a hand toward the water.

"Mr. Cartwright! What happened to Adam?” he asked.

"I don't want to be rude. My mother says I should only call adults by their last name." A sadness entered her eyes as she looked up at him.

"I'll tell you what, Elizabeth. How about when it's only you and me, you can call me Adam. When there are other people around, you can call me Mr. Cartwright. That way, you won't get into any trouble." His warm smile drove the sorrow from her eyes. "It'll be our secret."

"Ok Adam." The gregarious little hoyden he had met yesterday suddenly reappeared. They started walking toward the Johnson's wagon. "Hey Adam, how come you call me Elizabeth when everybody else calls me Lizzie?"

"Well, I guess it's because my mother's name was Elizabeth and I like the sound of it," he answered.

Elizabeth picked up on the melancholy note in Adam's voice and said, "You've lost her, haven't you Adam?" The face that looked up at him held an understanding he hadn't expected from one so young.

"Yes--- I never knew her. She died when I was born." Adam saw the tears well in her eyes. "It was a long time ago Elizabeth," he said. Trying to reassure her and lighten his own mood, he said, "Ok young lady, we had better get this water to your mother before you get into any more trouble." He pulled on one of her braids and smiled.

"Good morning Mr. Cartwright. I see Lizzie has you helping with her chores," Cliff Johnson said as he winked at Adam.

"No, honest, Pa. I said I could carry the bucket myself," Lizzie answered quickly.

"That's ok Lizzie. A gentleman always helps a lady when she needs it," said her father, a smile touching his lips.

"Well, I guess I didn't really need help." Lizzie had a questioning look on her face. "Does that still make me a lady?"

"Yes, Miss Elizabeth, your father is right. A gentleman always tries to help a lady." He put the bucket down next to the morning campfire. "And I'd be pleased if you'd call me Adam," he said to Cliff Johnson.

"Will you have breakfast with us?" Cliff asked.

"I thank you but I promised the Randsoms I'd be there," said Adam.

"Oh Adam, don't leave," Lizzie said. Her father noted her quick response.

"Now don't pester Mr. Cartwright, Lizzie. He has things to do besides fetch and carry for you," her father replied.

Lizzie's face turned red and she looked down at the ground. Just then, her mother came out of the wagon. "Maybe you'll have supper with us, Mr.Cartwright?"

"I'd be pleased," he responded. Adam noticed his young friend's discomfort. "See you tonight Elizabeth?" he asked.

She looked up at him and smiled. "See you tonight," she answered.

After Adam had left and her father went to retrieve the team; Lizzie sat with her mother as she prepared their morning meal. Emily Johnson noticed her daughter's pensive look. "What is it Lizzie; something bothering you?"

"No--- no, not really." She hesitated, thinking hard before she went on.  "Mama," she started, "how do you feel when you really like somebody?"

Emily Johnson had been waiting for this conversation. Part of her wanted to laugh and smile at the question and part of her wanted to cry at the thought of her "baby" being old enough to have those stirrings for a man. "Well, I guess people react differently. When you really like somebody, you want to be with them all of the time and you put their happiness and feelings above your own." She stirred the pot of hot cereal as it bubbled and boiled over the open fire. She took a deep breath and said, "What makes you ask?"

Embarrassed to reveal anymore of what was bothering her, even to her mother, Lizzie answered with a noncommittal shrug of her shoulders. "Is the cereal ready yet Ma? I'm hungry."

Emily Johnson smiled and laddled the hot porridge into a bowl. "You eat up now then help your father get things packed." She knew her daughter would ask more when she was ready.

**********

The day's trip was uneventful and Adam was surprised at the good time they were making. If this kept up, he'd be home long before he had planned. All day he kept one eye on John Cooper but other than sullen looks, nothing seemed out of place. They made camp by a beautiful, rushing stream and Adam made good use of it. Finding a secluded spot, he shed his dusty clothes and plunged into the cold, clear water.  His head broke the surface as he came up and he shook the curly black locks out of his face. Better get my haircut, he thought, before I start looking like Joe. Wouldn't be good for Pa to start yelling at both of us. The picture in his mind made him smile. He enjoyed the contrast of the warm sunshine on his face and shoulders while the rest of him began to shake with the invading cold of the water.

As the shadows began to lengthen, he reluctantly swam to shore. After changing and shaving once again, he went to the Johnson wagon. He looked forward to chatting with Cliff and Emily and the irresistible Miss Elizabeth. Funny how thoughts of the awkward, young teen made him wonder what it would be like if he ever had a child.

***********

"Hello Adam. Glad you could make it," Cliff said. Evening was closing in fast and the warmth and light of several campfires made for a comforting sight. Emily joined them and added her welcome.  

Adam removed his hat and offered to help. "Thank you Adam but why don't you just sit down and keep Cliff company while I finish dinner."

Adam noticed how the light of the fire flattered this already attractive woman. She had a ready smile and a soft, quiet way about her. He wondered if her daughter would grow up to have the same characteristics. His thoughts were interrupted by Elizabeth's arrival.

The young woman who came from the back of wagon bore little resemblance to the barefooted youngster everybody called Lizzie. She was wearing a crisp green dress covered by a white pinafore. Her dark chestnut hair, no longer in braids, was brushed out and hung softly down her back. It curled loosely about her face. She looked at him shyly and nodded a greeting. He didn't have to wonder anymore. The girl who stood before him would certainly grow to surpass her mother's beauty.

"Good evening Miss Elizabeth. May I say how beautiful you look tonight."

Her face reddened and he couldn't tell if it was from the heat of the fire or his compliment.

"Thank you Ad---ahh, Mr. Cartwright." She continued to help her mother with dinner.

"Well Lizzie, you do clean up mighty pretty. You hop'in for an invitation to dance tonight?" her father asked.

Trying to divert her husband from his current course of questioning, Emily said, "Cliff, why don't you tell Adam about our Saturday night dances."

With his attention redirected away from his daughter, Cliff turned back to his guest. "Oh, we started the dances so that folks would have something to look forward to at the end of a long week. Got a few people who play fiddle and guitar and old Mr. Howard calls a pretty fair reel and square." He looked over at his daughter once again but decided not to tease her anymore. Not only would Lizzie be mad, but he'd find himself without a dance partner tonight, if he didn't stop.

They asked Adam about his family and how the Ponderosa started. He told them of his days on different wagon trains coming across the country with his father.  He informed them briefly about Inger and how she died and later about Marie. The pain of losing the two women had been very real to Adam but they had both left him a gift, his brothers. Both the Johnsons expressed their sympathy for Adam's family and especially his father. He didn't dwell on the sad things but rather the relationship built up between the four men.

Lizzie listened quietly to the adult conversation and only spoke when she was asked a question. Her gaze rarely left the face of the handsome man who was now no longer a stranger to them. She laughed when he told stories of his brother's wild adventures and became very still when he spoke of the dangers that still existed for them as they continued to build an empire out of the wilderness.

And Adam learned more about the people on the train and specifically the Johnson's. They, like so many others before them asked only for a chance to own a piece of land, work hard and raise a family in peace and harmony. Not so different from his father's dream. The one he and his brothers were a part of. As he listened to the Johnsons, Adam's mind strayed. If only he knew what his dream was; what he really wanted. But that wasn't clear to him yet. So he continued to help his father and brothers, content that someday he'd find the answer. 

Soon, people started to gather together and a large fire was built. Laughter combined with the tuning of instruments heralded a night of fun and relaxation. Adam watched as Cliff and Emily joined the first dance. Elizabeth stayed at his side. From reel to square to waltz, partners lost themselves in the music and each other.

Elizabeth had been very quiet and when she finally spoke, Adam was a little startled. With her eyes never leaving the dancers, she asked in a quiet voice "Adam, have you ever loved anybody?" I mean, other than your family."

The question was asked with sincerity and candor and he responded in a like manner. "Yes Elizabeth, I have," he said.

"What's it like---I mean, how does it make you feel and how do you know?" She turned to look at him, her eyes wide with the curiosity of the young.

Adam's mind struggled with an explanation the young girl would understand. He refused to be condescending but her scant life experience made it difficult to explain.

Adam motioned toward the dancing partners. "I guess falling in love is sort of like a couple's first dance," he started to explain. "It's a little awkward at first but it feels wonderful to be with somebody you really care about. The more you get to know each other, the greater your feelings become and the awkwardness leaves." He stopped for a moment. "Watch the dancers Elizabeth. See how some are easy in each other's arms; how they seem to speak to each other with just a look." She turned away from him and gazed back at the swaying couples.  The look of concentration on her face made him smile.

"I think I see what you mean, Adam." Elizabeth was leaning forward with her elbows resting on her knees and her hands under her chin, still looking at the dancers. "Like my parents, they look happy just to be with each other. I guess that might be love, just wanting to be with each other."

Her simple explanation grabbed at his heart and his breath caught in his throat. "I think you understand exactly what love is Elizabeth. And I think when it comes to you, the young man will be very fortunate indeed." She smiled up at him then turned back to the dancers.

Looking up, Adam noticed John Cooper across the fire. He caught Cooper's eye and stared with an unflinching gaze. Cooper sneered and turned away.

"Something wrong Adam?" Elizabeth said. She had watched as the interchange took place.

"No---no not really," he said. He had a hard time tearing his eyes away from Cooper's back.

Elizabeth said," you don't like him, do you Adam?"

Adam's first instinct was to pretend he didn't know what she was talking about, but he knew better. She'd already guessed the answer.

"No," he replied honestly. "I'm not sure why. I just don't trust him."

"I don't like him neither but I can't tell Ma and Pa." She sighed. "Another one of those 'being respectful to an adult' things.

Her sigh and dramatic tone made Adam laugh out loud. When she heard him, Elizabeth started to giggle.

"Must've been a funny joke Emily. These two sure look happy enough." The Johnson's were walking back to the wagon where Adam and Elizabeth were still trying to control themselves, but without much success. A spontaneous, deep chuckle interspersed with a high-pitched giggle could still be heard.

The rest of the evening passed quickly. Adam said thank you and good night to the Johnson family and walked back to his bedroll with the Randsoms.    On the way, he saw the train's scout head toward the picket line. Trying his best not to arouse any suspicion Adam asked," How long have you known Mr. Cooper?"

Both Mr. and Mrs. Randsom lost their smiles. "Not very long. We lost our scout to the silver mines when we wintered over in Carson City," said Mr. Randsom. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no particular reason. Just wondered," Adam said. He tried to be nonchalant but he knew he wasn't convincing either of them.

"Something bothering you, Adam?" Mrs. Randsom asked in a concerned tone.

"Well, it's pretty obvious we didn't get along from the very start," Adam said. "I suppose he feels my presence isn't necessary. Not sure I'd feel much different in his spot." They had reached the wagon. "I'll say goodnight now."

Mrs. Randsom bid him goodnight and disappeared into the back of the wagon. Mr. Randsom turned and asked Adam if he could wait a minute before he left. He gestured for him to follow a little way away from the wagon.

"Adam, I know you're only here to lead us across your ranch and put us on the trail for California. I'm sure you don't want to become involved in train business but I'll tell you I didn't have much choice when I hired John Cooper. The silver mines are more alluring than taking a train load of greenhorns across Nevada and into California." He smiled at his own self-description. "I think I understand the uneasy feeling you have when it comes to Mr. Cooper but he hasn't done anything that would make me mistrust him."  The wagon master stopped and took a deep breath. "We need him."

"I understand, sir, and you're right. I'm just here to help you get safely across the Ponderosa than I’ll be on my way," Adam replied. "Good night, Mr. Randsom."

Adam made his way to his bedroll and tucked himself in for the night. The sleep that usually came so easily was now elusive. His mind kept going back to his unfounded feelings about John Cooper. He told himself that Randsom was right. The train needed the scout and apparently he hadn't done anything to earn the wagon master's mistrust. He turned restlessly to his other side. Closing his eyes, Adam thoughts strayed toward home.

**********

"I done told you, Joe, I don't know and if you ask me one more time, I'm gonna drop you in that pile of manure over there." Hoss moved toward his younger brother, both arms held out in front of him.

Joe backed away from the advancing threat. "All right! All right, I just asked," he said.

"No Joe, you "just asked" for the fiftieth time. And I still don't know," Hoss exclaimed.

Ben Cartwright couldn't help but hear the conversation as he entered the barn. "Problem, boys?" he asked.

Joe spoke up first. "No, no---no problem, Pa."

"Huh---no problem, my foot." Hoss' face was set in hard, stubborn lines.

"Care to enlighten me, son?" Ben asked his agitated middle son.

"If Joe asks me one more time why you had Adam lead that wagon train off our land, I'm gonna throttle him," Hoss said. "I swear I will, Pa."

Ben slowly turned toward his youngest son who now wore his best innocent face. "Now Pa," he said, "you don't believe that do you?"

"Yes, Little Joe, I do." Ben's voice was quiet, hiding the annoyance underneath. "Since when do you question my decisions, young man?"

A look of defiance suddenly entered Joe's eyes and just as quickly disappeared. He dropped his head and said, "I'm sorry, Pa."

His manner softening, Ben said to his sons, "Look, you both know that out of the three of you, Adam is the one least likely to go out on a Saturday night or to a church picnic or to take any time off." Ben stopped, waiting for Hoss and Joe to agree with what he had said. They both nodded, wondering what their father was about to say. "It's just that he needs to get away as well as the rest of us and sometimes I have to force him, even for a little while. Do you understand?"

"Well, we understand why you did it, Pa; it's just that we don't understand why he's like that," Hoss said.

Joe eagerly agreed. "Yeah Pa, you heard him. He really didn't care if I went instead of him." Hoss threw Joe a warning look.

Ben smiled at Joe. "I'm not sure I know myself boys. Adam's always been intense and focused, even as a child. I think part of it is just who he is." The smile left Ben's face and a melancholy look entered his eyes. "And part of it is what he went through as a child and a young man. It was just too much, too young."

"But Pa, Adam wouldn't never blame you or anybody else for what happened while he was grow'in up. He's got too much sense fer that," Hoss said.

Ben put his hand on Hoss' shoulder. "I know that son but it doesn't change the facts."

"Well maybe we can't change what happened to him then but we can make it better now," Joe spoke up.

"How we gonna do that Joe?" Hoss frowned at his younger brother.

"We just won't take no for an answer, about picnics and dances and such. And when we go fishing and hunting, we'll just expect him to go along all the time, not just some of the time," Joe replied.

"Yer good about not takin' no for an answer, that's fer sure, Little Joe." Hoss laughed.

"See---I'll just pester him until he gives up." Joe's grin lit up his face.

"Go easy on the pestering son. Your big brother needs his time alone; that's just him. If you pester him too much, you might find yourself sitting in that manure pile Hoss was talking about," Ben laughed.

The three men smiled at the thought. "Now the reason I came out here in the first place was to suggest that we go meet your elder brother on his way back and maybe get in a little fishing. Do I hear any objections?" Ben cupped his hand to his ear.

"Not from us Pa. Let's start pack'in Joe," Hoss suggested.

**********

As they climbed into the high country, Adam guessed that he would be able to leave the train by around noon the next day. He stopped a moment to savor his surroundings. Each part of the Ponderosa was special for its own reasons but the high country was the most beautiful and peaceful. He was glad his father had insisted on his coming. He had enjoyed meeting this group of people, but in truth, he really knew very little of them and would soon forget names and faces. That is, except for one. A little green-eyed scamp that seemed to have stolen his heart. It would be hard to forget Elizabeth. She was that in-between woman-child. The curiosity and innocence of youth crossed with the inherent wisdom of her gender. He wished he could see her in about ten years. Adam knew he would be impressed by the woman she would become.

They stopped for the night beside a high meadow lake. It occurred to Adam that he had not seen Cooper all day. He knew he would have to speak to the man sooner or later and although he would have preferred later, he decided to get it over with. Approaching the Randsom wagon, Adam heard voices raised in anger. He recognized both Cooper's and Mr. Randsom's voices.

"And you're being paid a goodly sum of money to get us through to Sacramento. We expect nothing less." Randsom's words held no fear this time.

"You'll get your money's worth Randsom," Cooper spit back. "I'll be back in the morning." He rounded the corner of the wagon and very nearly ran Adam down. "Get outta my way, Cartwright!"

Adam was startled and before he could respond, the scout disappeared from view. "I'm sorry Mr. Randsom. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I was coming to tell Cooper I'd be leaving around noon tomorrow. Thought I'd let him know the best trials we've found through the mountains."

"That's alright Adam. Mr. Cooper seems to have a mind of his own. I can't imagine where he'd be going tonight, way out here." The man shook his head in disgust.

Adam almost said something about the scout disappearing from camp the first night he was with them, but changed his mind. He would be gone tomorrow and these people would be on their way.

"Well, if you'll excuse me sir, there are some folks I'd like to see before I go." Adam raised a hand, bidding him goodbye. "I'll be back in a little while." He smiled and said, "I promised Mrs. Randsom I'd be back for supper."

Walking down the short row of wagons, he stopped and chatted with several people. He reached the Johnson wagon last. Elizabeth was transformed once again into the skinny little coltish girl he met when he first arrived. She looked up but there wasn't any smile for him this time. Adam spent some time talking with the Johnsons about their future plans and he wished them a safe journey. After saying his good-byes, he looked for his young friend but found that she was no longer in camp.

Fires were being lit to prepare the evening meal and ward off the fast approaching dusk. Adam started to walk toward the lake. Somehow he had a feeling that Elizabeth would be there. And she was. Standing on the shore, feet just barely in the water, she stood looking out toward the west. She turned toward him as he approached, gave a weak smile and turned back.

Adam had found a convenient boulder to sit on. "Weren't you going to give me a chance to say goodbye, Elizabeth?" he asked.

Her answer was simple and straightforward. "No", she said softly.

"Friends don't just go off and leave each other. I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed meeting you, even for a short time." His voice was gentle.

Still looking out across the lake, she said, "That's the trouble Adam. It's too short." Elizabeth turned and looked at him. Even with the falling shadows, he could see the sparkle of tears in her eyes.

Adam took a deep breath, recalling his own times as a child when people seemed to come in and out of his life, no permanence, no relationships---just fleeting memories. He understood what Elizabeth was feeling only too well.

"I'm not saying it isn't hard, Elizabeth. Nobody wants to say goodbye to someone they like but your life is across those mountains. A real home with your family." He got up and walked next to her. They both were silent for a moment, taking in the beauty that was all around them. "You won't forget me and I certainly couldn't forget you. Memories are warm things, Elizabeth," he said. "Now, how about letting me walk you home?"

"Ok Adam," she said and put her small hand in his. He walked her back to the warmth and light of her parent's wagon.

***********

John Cooper rode hard to reach the hideout of his fellow outlaws. His horse was lathered and blowing by the time he stopped. As the scout walked into a clearing ringed by a thick stand of pines, he heard several rifles being cocked. "What are you so nervous about brother? Afraid of a few greenhorns?" he laughed.

"Could've been anyone," Luke Cooper answered. "You might get your head blown off next time." He took a drink out of the bottle he held in his hand.

"Yeah, well there ain't gonna to be a next time cause we're gonna hit them tomorrow morning," his brother replied, taking the bottle. He took a long pull and handed it back. "They ain't nothin but a bunch of sheep. We shouldn't have any trouble at all."

"No---well what about that Cartwright fella you was talkin about?" He ain't gonna just stand still while we ride in and pick them wagons clean." Luke took another drink while waiting for his brother's answer.

John Cooper laughed. "He'll take a bullet, same as anybody else and I want to be the one to do it. That'll shut that fancy mouth of his."

"Yeah well, I don't like takin on the Cartwrights. They wasn't suppose to be part of this," Luke said.

"Don't go gettin scared now little brother. We ain't gonna leave no witnesses and that includes old man Cartwright's kid." Cooper's laugh was ugly. "We'll finish the job and head into those mountains. They'll never find us."

"We'll hit 'em first thing. Just after they start movin'. They'll be all strung out." The scout again took a pull on the whiskey bottle his brother had provided. He made sure he had the attention of everybody in the camp. "And remember, no witnesses. None!" He looked around. "You ain't got the stomach for it, ride out now." John Cooper waited but no one moved.

**********

Another clear Spring morning dawned in the mountain foothills. Adam had awoken early. No one was stirring in camp and he decided to lie quietly and watch the sun rise over the eastern slope of the mountain ridge. Letting his thoughts drift, he wondered what his family was doing. Then his mind began to tick off all things that needed to be done at home: cattle that needed to be moved, a new timber contract that he would deal with when he returned home, fences and horses and------. No, he thought. Not this time. He tried to empty his mind of anything that had to do with work. At least until he got home. The sounds of morning broke into his thoughts.

Reluctantly, Adam set about his morning routine. Collecting what he needed, he moved off toward the lake. Elizabeth had beaten him to it. He watched her for a minute. She sat atop a boulder that lay in the shallow waters of the shore. Her knees were tucked up under her chin and her long golden arms circled her legs. "Good morning, green eyes. You're up early."

 Not startled, Elizabeth turned as if she knew he was coming. "Hi Adam. It's so pretty here I thought I'd have another look before we had to move on." She hesitated for a moment. "Do you think they'll be anything as pretty as this in California?" she asked.

"I'd have to think about that a minute," Adam said in a teasing voice. "I'm not sure anything is prettier than a piece of the Ponderosa." She made a face at him and stuck out her tongue.

"What happened to the young lady I saw at the dance the other night?" I don't think she'd approve of that behavior." He smiled and sat down next to her.

"It's too hard growing up. I mean, sometimes I want to and other times I'd rather be who I am. Does that make any sense?" Those same questioning eyes looked up at him.

"Yup, it does. Not always so easy being grown up."  Adam got up off the rock and put his hands on his hips. "Ok young lady, enough. I want to see that smiling little green-eyed imp I met when I first came." Suddenly he realized something and said, "That's it! Joe---you remind me of my youngest brother Joe, all green-eyes, flashing smile and a bit of a temper. Yup, that's definitely it."

Elizabeth laughed at him as she climbed down from the rock. "Now how could I remind you of some dumb, old boy? And did you call him an imp?"

"Among other things, yes. And I'm a dumb old boy too, you know." He tried his best to look stern.

"Ah, huh," she giggled.

"Come on Miss Elizabeth, your parents will be wondering where you are." They walked back to the Johnson's wagon.

"Well Adam, We weren't sure if we'd see you or not this morning," Cliff Johnson said. "Should have known Lizzie would find you."

"More like I found her," Adam said. "Cliff, I wonder if I could ask you a favor?"

"Sure Adam. What is it?" Cliff asked.

"Like I said last night, I'll be leaving the train about noon today. I was wondering if Elizabeth could ride with me until than?" Adam waited for Cliff's reply. Just then, Mrs. Johnson joined them. She saw the look of delight and anticipation on her daughter's face.

Before her husband could answer, she replied, “If it's not too much trouble, I'm sure Elizabeth would like that, Adam." She gave her daughter a warm smile. "Thank you for asking her."

"Oh Adam, thank you," the excited young girl said.

"I'll pick you up after breakfast." Adam smiled, tipped his hat and walked back to the head of the train.

"Cliff, why don't you go get me some fresh water and I'll make up some coffee," Emily said. After he had gone, Elizabeth helped her mother to prepare breakfast. "Thanks Mama," she said. A sudden look of shyness crossed her face.

"You and Mr. Cartwright seem to have become friends. He's a nice young man, Lizzie." She waited to see if her daughter would say anything more, but the young girl was silent. "Most men his age are married by now and have a youngster or two."

"You know, mama, I think Mr. Cartwright kinda thinks of me that way. He said I remind him of his kid brother." Lizzie looked at her mother with a warm smile. "I hope someday he finds what you and Pa have." Emily reached over and hugged her child.

"I wish that for him too, Elizabeth. He'd be a lucky man." Wiping the tears away, Emily Johnson went back to fixing their morning meal.

**********

Adam had put Elizabeth up behind him on Sport. The extra burden didn't seem to make any difference to the big chestnut. She wrapped her arms around Adam's waist but once she found her balance, Elizabeth discovered she didn't have to hang on quite so tightly. The two friends chattered and laughed. Adam let Sport have his head and the young girl rejoiced in the

freedom and exhilaration she felt.

They found themselves out of site of the train when Adam brought Sport to a stop. "We better turn around before your parents think I've kidnapped you," Adam said. Gunshots stopped their laughter. Adam pulled Elizabeth from behind him and deposited her behind a tall pine. "Stay here until I come for you!" He leaned forward and Sport jumped into a full gallop.

Stopping on the rim of the hill, Adam saw that the train was being attacked by what appeared to be at least a couple dozen men. The wagons were in disarray and no one seemed to be in charge. Then he saw why. Mr. and Mrs. Randsom sat together on the seat of their wagon, leaning into each other. Both were covered in blood and stared with unseeing eyes as the horses continued to move forward.

Each wagon was being targeted by a few of the marauders. Adam tried to shout above the melee but his words were lost in the sound of gunfire and screaming. He rode through the attackers to the Johnson wagon. Cliff Johnson lay on the ground, blood spilling from his chest, eyes open and staring into the sun. Emily lay over him, a red stain widening across her back. He stopped and sat motionless, his mind trying to take in what was happening. The enormity of it paralyzed him.

A bullet ripped the fabric of Adam's shirt and creased the skin below as it plowed across his lower ribcage. The pain roused him from his stupor. He quickly looked at the chaos that surrounded him and knew there wasn't anything he could do except try and save Elizabeth. He bent low over his saddle and headed back in her direction. Riding hard, he looked ahead and saw that the young girl was running to meet him. "No---Elizabeth no, get back," he shouted. A single gunshot rang out and she crumpled to the ground.

Adam flew from Sport's back and gathered the child in his arms. Her dark brown hair had fallen out of her braids and covered her young face. He pushed it back and whispered, "No, please. She's just a little girl." He shook her but there was no response. Realizing she was gone, he held her to his chest and rocked her gently. Tears blinded him as he sobbed, "Oh, Elizabeth, I'm sorry."

"Now Cartwright, there's no need to be sorry. Why you led them right to us."

He knew the depraved laughter that followed could only be John Coopers.

Adam picked his head up and stared into the errie gray eyes of the man who had planned the attack. Carefully he placed Elizabeth down on the ground and stood to face the man. A scream that rose from somewhere deep within him echoed in the mountains and Adam surged forward. As he drew his gun, he felt a bullet enter his chest and he was thrown backward. His last conscious thought was to turn and cover Elizabeth's body with his own.

**********

"Those gunshots are pretty far off Pa but there's too many to be just some hunters," Hoss said to his father.

Ben Cartwright's face reflected his fear. "I know son. We'd better see what it is."

Joe turned to his brother. "Do you think----?"

Before he could finish, Hoss shook his head and said, "I don't know Joe. Let's not buy trouble before it comes."

The three men rode hard toward the direction of the gunfire. The sounds had ceased long before they headed their horses up the small elevation. What they saw below them as they crested the hill, made them stop.

The younger Cartwright brothers could only stare in open-mouthed horror at the sight before them. They were only roused by the whispered words of their father, "please, please---no."

The men rode slowly forward, closer to the massacre below. Wagons were spread out with teams still attached, patiently waiting for their next instructions. People and possessions lay scattered.  They dismounted and made their way from wagon to wagon. They hoped that the results would be different at each new wagon they approached, but they were always the same. No one had survived.

Ben took a moment to look at his two sons. Both young faces were set in hard lines. He knew they were desperately fighting to keep their emotions from getting in the way. Lessons learned the hard way in a hard country.

Finally, Joe found his voice. "Pa," he said, "who could have done this---and why?" His voice shook and his green eyes were clouded.

"I just don't know son," he answered, his voice a choked whisper. "Adam---where's Adam?"

"Now hang on Pa," Hoss said. "We don't even know if he was still with 'em. This is almost off our property. Maybe he left already. "

"Yes, you're right son. Maybe he did leave." Ben wanted to believe what his middle son had said.

Joe moved away from the wagons. He needed to catch his breath and try to control the waves of nausea that threatened him. Looking toward the other side of the hill, he saw a black clad figure lying face down in the grass. He walked slowly toward the unmoving body; his heart telling him it could be anyone but his mind telling him what he already knew. He knelt down and placed a tentative hand on the soft black hair. He couldn't bring himself to turn Adam over. Couldn't check to see if there were any signs that would have told him his brother still lived. Afraid of what the answer might be. "Pa, Hoss, over here," Joe shouted.

Lifting their heads toward the direction of Joe's shout, Ben and Hoss ran to Adam's side. It was Hoss who turned his brother over. Stunned by the sight of the young girl, the three men sat back on their heels and looked at each other with silent questions. Knowing the child was dead; Joe picked her up and gently placed her to the side. Ben roused and pulled open the blood-covered shirt. Adam's chest rose and fell rapidly, dried blood matted in the dark hair. A crimson path slowly seeped from a wound high on the right side of his chest near his shoulder. Another wound had bled badly but the crease had now clotted.

"Joe, get a wagon ready for your brother. Hoss, go get water and my saddlebags," ordered Ben. Adam was alive! That's all he could see and for the moment that was enough. He couldn't help the dead but he'd be damned if he'd give up on his boy. Hoss returned with the supplies along with a bedroll. He washed the wounds carefully, hoping not to start them bleeding again. It would be a long trip to Virginia City.

Joe went to a wagon and cleared a bed for is brother. He couldn't help but feel he was intruding among the things of the newly dead. But his brother's life depended on getting him to help so he'd do whatever he had to. When the back was ready, Joe asked the team to move up the hill. Hoss picked his brother up and walked to the back of the wagon. Adam remained silent and unmoving. He handed his brother up to his father and Joe. Carefully placing him on the blanket lined cot; they removed Adam's boots and covered him with several quilts.

"I'll get him to Virginia City as quickly as I can. It's the closest place with a doctor. Tie four horses to the back so I can have a fresh team," Ben said. "Make sure the water barrels are full." He saw Joe and Hoss glance at each other. "If you have something to say, than say it," Ben snapped.

"It's just that we should be going with you Pa," Hoss said. "We don't think you should try to take Adam by yourself."

"I brought my boy across this country by myself and I can get him to the doctor by myself," Ben hissed. His fear for Adam's life boiled over in anger.

He saw the surprise and hurt on both his younger sons' faces and dropped his head in shame. Taking a deep breath, he said "Oh boys, I'm sorry. Forgive me for being a fool. I know you're frightened for Adam. But these people deserve a decent burial and we can't just walk away. Bury them. Free the horses and find me on the trial. We'll send the law back when we get Adam to town."

"Ok Pa, if that's what you think is best," Hoss answered.

"We'll catch up as soon as we can," Joe added. "We can bring Buck with us."

Ben reached out and put a hand on each son's shoulder. "Thank you, boys. I know what I'm asking you to do is very difficult but we wouldn't be able to live with ourselves if we just left them where they lay." Ben climbed onto the seat and held the reins steady. He turned around to see Hoss and Joe speaking words of encouragement and love to their elder brother. He gave them a moment then moved off.

**********

Ben Cartwright moved as quickly as the horses and the terrain would allow. Turning around frequently, he watched as his eldest boy continued to stubbornly cling to life. Finally stopping to rest, he climbed into the back of the wagon. He saw that neither wound was bleeding. There was no hole in Adam's back so he knew the bullet was still lodged in his son's chest. He only hoped that it had missed his lung.

Ben dampened a cloth and held it to his son's face. A small groan escaped Adam's lips. Ben dampened the cloth again and held it to Adam's mouth. He saw the dry lips part as if asking for more. He held the canteen close and let a trickle enter. Adam coughed and opened his eyes. "More," he gasped. His father fed him small sips until Adam was too tired to continue. It appeared as if he was unconscious again. Ben gently lowered Adam's head to the pillow and sat back. Leaning against the side of the wagon, he closed his eyes for a moment and thought how familiar it all looked.

Adam had been a hardy child who rarely succumbed to childhood illnesses. But those few times brought apprehension and worry to a single father whose life was wrapped around a quiet, dark-haired boy with deep-set eyes and an unending curiosity. That little boy was gone forever but he took solace in the fact that he still had the man by his side.

Ben's reflections were interrupted by another frail cough followed by a sharp intake of breath. Adam's eyes were open and he was struggling to get up. "No son, please. I know you're in pain, but you have to lie still." He tried to sooth his son's weak efforts.

"Pa? How'd you get here?" Adam tossed his head, fighting the pain and hoping to clear his mind. "Wagon's were attacked. It was Cooper---the train's scout." He struggled again, trying to control himself. Suddenly, he stopped moving. Ben watched as tears filled his son's eyes. "Elizabeth," he said in a voice that sounded desperate. He grabbed his father's hand. "Oh Pa, she was just a child." Adam let go of Ben's hand and looked away. "I'm sorry Elizabeth," he whispered. Tears fell from under closed lids than disappeared into the pillow.

Ben pulled the quilts back into place, carefully tucking in the edges. He moved to the front and once again started toward Virginia City.

**********

It was a day and a half later when Hoss and Joe finally caught up with their father and brother. Ben's heart broke as he looked at their faces. Both of his sons were haggard and tired but more than that, they wore the look of men much older than their years. The horror of what they had seen and what they had to do had aged them. He could only hope that time would ease the memories.

Adam roused at less frequent intervals as the journey continued but long enough to take some water. He fought against his coverings as his fever increased. The Cartwright men took turns bathing him in the cold waters they found along the way.

By the time they reached their destination, the rising and falling of Adam's chest could hardly be distinguished. He lay perfectly still, having stopped struggling against the heat of his fever. The matted black hair created a stark contrast against the colorless skin.  Hoss held his brother close as if trying to hide him from the prying eyes of the gathering crowd. He carried him through the door and into Doctor Martin's office. Ben and Joe walked through the crowd without saying a word and closed the door behind them.

**********

Too exhausted and worried to sleep, they waited. A concerned friend of the Cartwrights had informed the sheriff of their arrival. Roy entered the office, hat in hand. "I understand that Adam's been hurt," he said. "Ben, boys---I'm real sorry. You know what I think of Adam."

"Thank you Roy," Ben said, gesturing toward the door. "Paul hasn't come out yet."

"You probably don't want to talk right now but if I need to help, then the sooner I know what's going on, the better." Roy twisted the brim of his hat as he spoke.

"I can only tell you what little I know." Ben started telling the sheriff everything he knew, including Adam's accusation of the wagon train's scout.

Ben watched as the seasoned lawman blanched at his description of what they had seen.  

"Thank you Ben and my prayers are with Adam. We'll find 'em, boys, I promise." Roy left to form a posse. He knew the men would have to be prepared to be away for several days.