A Choice to Make
Joe Cartwright followed his father slowly through the door and out into the yard, stopping at the end of the boarded porch to watch as Ben tied his bedroll to the back of the saddle. His expression was one of dismay, for the young teen hated it each and every time that his father was called away from home to tend to business elsewhere. Joe watched his two older brothers as they talked softly with their father and Joe knew without having to ask that Ben Cartwright was issuing certain orders to each of them.
Adam, who was twenty-seven, would be in charge, he always was thought Joe, and Hoss, six years Adam’s junior would be second in command. Joe knew too, that both Adam and Hoss would be instructed on their daily chores as well and without even thinking about it, Joe knew that his brothers would do their best and see to it that he was made to do no less.
Joe watched silently as Ben shook Hoss’ hand and then Adam’s. When Ben glanced up, searching for his youngest son, his brown eyes met the hazel eyes that he knew had been watching him. Ben smiled and motioned for Joe to come closer. Reluctantly, Joe did as ordered and slowly crossed the yard. This was the moment that he had always hated, saying goodbye to his father, for within the deepest chamber of his heart he held a secret fear that his father would one day go away and never return to him. Joe’s heart pounded and he feared that his father might be able to hear how hard the member beat within his breast.
“Joseph,” Ben smiled, “I expect you to stay out of trouble while I’m gone,” Ben said, his dark eyes twinkling.
He had not missed the sad countenance that Joe wore on his face, or how, when he had placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder, Joe’s body had been trembling, nor did he miss the tears that threatened to fill the worried eyes.
“Yessir,” Joe muttered softly, unable to meet his father’s probing eyes.
“I know you will, son,” Ben said encouragingly. “You mind your brothers now, understand?”
Joe pinched his lips together and when Ben lifted his son’s chin upward so that he could see into the boy’s face, Joe had no other recourse but to nod his head in acceptance.
“I will, I promise, Pa,” Joe forced a smile.
“Good boy. Now, I won’t be gone more than three, four weeks at the most and…”
“That long!” Joe said, his voice rising slightly. “I thought you were only going to be gone a week or two at the most, not a whole month…Pa!”
Ben glanced worriedly at his two older sons and then back down at the near fifteen-year old.
“I explained that to you yesterday, Joseph. I told you that…”
“Fine…stay a month then…I’ll be just great without you…you’ll see!”
Joe knew he was on the verge of tears and wanted desperately to get away before the tears began to fill his eyes. He turned as if to walk away but was stopped by his father’s hand pressing onto his shoulder.
“Joseph…”
Joe turned suddenly and fell against his father’s chest, wrapping his arms tightly about Ben’s body.
“You will come back, won’t you, Pa? Promise me, you’ll come back.”
Try though he might, Joe could do nothing to stop the tears. Ben had entwined his distraught son within the folds of his arms, stunned at the childish behavior. His eyes met Adam’s and Ben nodded for Adam and Hoss to leave him alone with their brother. Taking the hint, Adam nudged Hoss and motioned for his middle brother to follow him into the barn. Hoss shrugged his shoulders, but did as instructed, giving Joe’s back a gentle pat as he passed.
Ben carefully pulled Joe back and using his hand, cupped Joe’s quivering chin and tilted the boy’s head up.
“Would you mind explaining to me what all of this is about?” Ben asked with concern.
He had known that Joe had not wanted him to go on this particular trip. Joe had even tried to talk his father into letting Adam go in his place but regardless of how many times that Ben had explained to his youngest son, the reasons why he had to attend to this piece of business, Joe had still seemed to turn a deaf ear to all reasoning. Even after explaining that Adam could not go because he was needed here to see after certain things pertaining to his approaching marriage, Joe had refused to listen to any excuses.
“Joseph? Please, son…I don’t want to leave you like this. I promise, I’ll be back…don’t I always come back?” Ben said gently.
Joe pulled free of the hand that cupped his chin and nodded his head.
“Yessir, but I…I…I just don’t want you to go…that’s all.”
Joe glanced up, seeing the compassion in his father’s eyes that gave him courage to voice aloud his fear. He glanced around to be sure he and his father were alone.
“Pa…I’m…I’m…afraid that…”
“Afraid?” Ben was surprised. “Of what, Joe? That something might happen to me and that you’ll be all alone?”
Ben watched the quivering chin as Joe nodded his head in agreement. His heart melted as he pulled Joe into an embrace.
“Oh Joseph,” muttered Ben. “I promise, I’ll come home. The only thing that would ever keep me away or separated from you would be if something terrible were to happen, and son…” Ben pulled back just slightly and looked down at Joe, “anything is possible. Something might happen, not that I’m planning on it happening, but things do happen, son, you know that as well as I do. But you also know that I would never leave you, not willingly, not on purpose, don’t you?”
“I know, Pa,” Joe murmured.
“Then you also know that if the worst were to happen, you would still have your brothers. They would always be here for you, to take care of you and to…love you. And Joe, Adam’s getting married in a couple of months, he’ll have Rachel and…”
Joe pulled back wiping the sleeve of his shirt across the front of his face to dry the dampness where his tears had run. How could he tell his father that he hated Adam’s intended bride without sounding more childish than he already was?
“I’m sorry, Pa…I know all of that, but it wouldn’t be the same…not without you.”
“No, it wouldn’t Joseph, but you would never be alone. Please, son, don’t worry about me…I don’t like having to go away, knowing that you’re upset. I realize that you’ve never liked it when I’ve had to be away, but sometimes, there’s no other way, I have no other choice but to go. Now, won’t you give me a smile?” smiled Ben hopefully.
It weighed heavy on his heart, seeing his youngest son so upset.
“I know you don’t Pa, and I’m sorry for being such a baby…but…I always miss you, when you’re gone,” Joe stammered.
“And I miss you, sweetheart,” Ben agreed.
Joe smiled then, knowing that it was useless, his father was leaving. There was no way that he could talk Ben out of it, and there was no time left to tell his father what he was really afraid of…and it wasn’t just his leaving…it was…
“Ya best get going, Pa,” Joe smiled brightly. “Be careful and take care of your self,” he added.
Ben placed his hand down on Joe’s shoulder and squeezed gently.
“Don’t you worry, I will, and if I can wrap things up sooner, I’ll come straight home.”
“Promise?” Joe asked, pleased with the idea.
“It’s a promise,” Ben whispered and then swung himself into the saddle.
Adam and Hoss appeared at the barn door and moved over to stand next to Joe.
“Take care, Pa,” Adam called.
“See ya in about a month, Pa,” Hoss said, tossing his large beefy hand into the air to wave as Ben turned Buck around.
“You boys take care of one another, be safe, and God bless,” Ben shouted as he nudged his horse into a trot.
As Ben rounded the corner of the barn, he cast his eyes over his shoulders. Joe was still standing in the same spot, but the boy smiled and waved, relieving Ben of some of the uneasiness he felt at leaving his youngest son. Oh, he knew that Adam and Hoss would care for their youngest brother and would protect him with their own lives if need be, but for some unknown reason, Joe was more upset at his leaving this time, than the times before. Ben could only wonder at the reasons for his youngest son’s insecurities.
**********
The following days were long ones for the youngest Cartwright. He could do nothing to keep the fear at bay, he missed his father and his brothers, always so busy during this time of year, seemed to have forgotten all about him. Joe was lonesome; Hoss was spending more and more time down at the corrals, and Adam…and Adam, thought Joe. His oldest brother was seldom home in the evenings his time was spent in the company of the young woman who had stolen his brother’s heart, Miss Rachel Stanrick.
As Joe lay upon his bed, he wondered what his brother had ever seen in the woman to begin with. Rachel was snooty and stuck-up, always giving him dirty looks when she was sure that Adam or Hoss was not watching. She made no secret at letting him know that she did not like him any better than what the youngest Cartwright liked her.
Joe had just closed his eyes when the sound of a female voice woke him. He hurried to the window, glancing down into the yard below and seeing Rachel being helped from the buggy by his oldest brother Joe let out a low groan. He had barely been paying attention to Adam when his brother had announced that Rachel would be joining them for supper.
Joe hadn’t been pleased with the idea. He had even tried to conjure up several excuses to avoid having to dine with the woman, but they had all fallen on deaf ears. Adam would hear nothing of his excuses and had insisted that he be made to join them. His brother had even warned Joe of certain consequences should he not be on his best behavior. Joe sighed and turned from the window to get ready to meet Adam’s intended.
His brothers and Rachel were already seated at the table by the time Joe joined them. He cast anxious eyes at both Adam and Hoss and then at the young woman who sat across from him.
“Good evening, Little Joe,” Rachel smiled. “What kept you, we’ve been waiting for you for a good five minutes?” she said with a sweetness that Joe considered sugar coated.
“She’s right Joe, I asked you to be on time,” Adam said with an angry tone that only Joe and perhaps Hoss might have been aware of.
Joe looked up at his brother and noted the displeased expression on his face.
“I had to finish cleaning up; you didn’t want me to join you smelling like a horse, did you?” Joe responded with a look of his own.
“Ah…Joe, ya ain’t even been on your horse today,” laughed Hoss, totally unaware of the under current of tension between his two siblings.
Before Joe or Adam could make a comeback, Hop Sing entered carrying a platter full of food and set it down on the table, smiling at Rachel.
“Hop Sing fix plenty for young Missy. You eat up now,” he ordered gently.
Rachel smiled sweetly at the little Chinaman. “Why thank you, Hop Sing, I’m sure it will be delicious.”
Hop Sing bowed graciously and scurried back to his kitchen. Joe watched how Rachel turned up her nose slightly when she thought that no one was looking. It disgusted him, Hop Sing was like a second mother to him and it irked him for the woman to be so rude, even if unsuspectingly so.
Joe reached across the table with his fork beginning to stab at a slice of the baked ham but stopped short when Adam slapped at his hand. Joe turned stunned, dark angry eyes at his brother.
“Why’d ya hit me?” he growled.
“Ladies first, young man,” snapped Adam as he picked up the platter and passed it to Rachel who was scrutinizing the youngest Cartwright from beneath lowered lashes.
Joe jerked back his hand and sat sullenly while the platter was passed around the table. When it was his turn he quickly snatched a portion of the meat and placed it on his plate. Without saying another word, Joe waited, always being the last to be served, and always conscious of the dark eyes that watched him from across the table.
“Where I come from, it’s considered impolite to talk with food in your mouth,” Rachel said softly, drawing everyone’s attention to Joe who had been talking to Hoss.
Joe stopped mid-sentence and looked up at Rachel, she was wearing a mock smile. When she turned to Adam, she suddenly smiled sweetly.
“My father would have taken my brother to the woodshed, for such ill manners,” she said, seemingly unaware of the surprised look on Hoss and Joe’s faces.
Adam glanced over at Joe who was swallowing the last morsel of food that had been in his mouth. He was not unaware of the worried expression on his little brother’s face, and he smiled kindly at the boy.
“Oh, I think I’ll let him pass, this time,” he told Rachel. Adam turned back to Joe. “But consider yourself forewarned little brother. Please, remember your manners,” he advised.
“You know Rachel, I suppose to you, it would seem like…certain members of my family are a bit…backwoodsy. But it would only be natural for a lady to think such, after all we are a family of men, unaccustomed to having lovely ladies among us,” Adam smiled.
“I suppose so darling, but surely your father has taught the boy better. I think…” began Rachel.
“I don’t care what you think…you keep your mouth shut about my father!” Joe suddenly blurted out. He shoved back his chair, tipping it over as he fled from the room.
“JOSEPH!” shouted Adam as he stood to his feet.
“Well, I never!” barked Rachel.
“I’ll be right back,” growled Adam as he tossed his napkin down in his plate.
“Adam…wait a minute,” Hoss called.
He couldn’t help but glare at the young woman on his right.
“Let me go talk to Joe…please,” he practically begged.
Adam stopped and glanced first at his brother and then back at Rachel.
“Okay, Hoss, but tell that boy, he and I will have a little discussion of our own unless he comes back in here and apologizes to Rachel. I’ll not have him speaking to my future wife in such a manner.” Adam went back to his chair and sat down.
Hoss hurried to the door and walked out onto the porch, his blue eyes searching the darkness for his brother. Joe wasn’t to be found, but Hoss noticed that the door to the barn stood slightly ajar. He entered silently into the darkened barn, and listened for any sounds that his brother might make.
“Joe?” Hoss called out. “Short Shanks…where are ya?”
Joe quickly wiped away the tears before stepping into the moonlight that shone through the opened door.
“I’m right here,” he muttered.
Hoss quickly joined his brother, smiling down at the boy.
“Hey Joe, why ya cryin’, boy?” he asked in his soft voice.
“I wasn’t crying…I…I had something in my eye,” lied Joe.
Hoss could barely make out the quivering chin and decided to let the subject drop.
“Why’d ya get so mad at Miss Rachel, Joe?”
Hoss had moved to a barrel and sat down. Joe stood facing him, his head hung low as he fidgeted with a piece of straw.
Joe raised his head and studied his brother’s face.
“You heard what she was saying about me…and then she started in on Pa…what was I suppose to do? Stand there and let her get by with bad mouthing Pa? Adam didn’t seem to be bothered…she’s….mean, Hoss…mean, that’s what is she! And…and…I hate her!” he suddenly shouted.
Joe turned his back to his brother, unaware that Hoss had stood up or that he now stood closely behind him. Hoss gently placed both hands on Joe’s shoulders and turned the boy around to face him.
“Ah Joe, ya don’t really mean that…”
“Yes I do Hoss…didn’t you hear her?” Joe cried. “She’s all the time trying to find fault with me, she tries to make me look bad in front of Adam…and he’s so blinded by her stupid smile that he believes everything that she says about me!”
“That ain’t true and ya know it, Short Shanks!”
“Yes it is Hoss…all ya gotta do is listen to what she’s saying. She hates me…anyone with half a brain can see that…”
“Ya better not let Adam hear ya talkin’ like that, little brother or he’ll…”
“He’ll what, Hoss…tan my hide? That’s just what she wants him to do…she…”
Hoss grabbed Joe and pulled the weeping boy into his arms, silencing him.
“Hush now…I’ll not listen to no more foolish talk. I want ya to go back inside and tell Miss Rachel that you’re sorry for…”
Joe jerked free from his brother’s arms.
“No…I didn’t do anything, Hoss…why should I apologize to her?”
“Because Adam said for me to tell you too, that’s why,” Hoss said, worried now that Joe might refuse his oldest brother’s wish and end up across Adam’s knees instead.
Joe folded his arms across his chest and shook his head no.
“Please Joe? I don’t wanna see ya get a thrashin’,” Hoss said worriedly.
“I ain’t afraid of getting a thrashing…leastwise, not much…” stammered Joe.
“Aw…come on Little Joe…it ain’t agonna kill ya. A thrashin’ will hurt a lot worse’n sayin’ I’m sorry,” begged Hoss. “Tell ya what, ya tell the lady that ya sorry, and after she’s gone, I’ll talk to ole Adam and explain to him that ya was just upset and…missin’ Pa, how’s that?” asked Hoss.
Joe looked up at his brother and saw the tiny well of tears that bubbled up into the blue eyes. Hoss was such a softly, thought Joe, ready to do battle for him if need be and he was hard pressed to deny him. He swallowed his own pride, suddenly feeling selfish that Hoss was made to stand between him and Adam, again.
“All right Hoss, just for you. I’ll tell her, but I won’t mean it,” he said and then relieved Hoss by smiling.
“Come on then, might as well get it over with,” Hoss said as he gently guided Joe toward the door.
He feared that the little stubborn cuss might back out before actually offering his apology to Adam’s future wife.
As they walked into the yard, Rachel stood alone in the moonlight.
“There she is, go ahead Joe. I’ll go inside and tell Adam that you’re talkin’ to her now.”
Hoss gave Joe a gentle nudge and when the boy started slowly over to the woman, Hoss went inside to speak with Adam.
“Ma’am?” Joe said softly, hating that he had to apologize for something he felt he hadn’t done.
Rachel turned. The smile that had been on her face disappeared and now she glared at the young boy who stood uncertainly before her.
“Well, young man…I suppose you’re ready to say you’re sorry?” she snarled at Joe.
Joe bit his tongue to keep from making a smart retort. “Yes ma’am,” Joe said softly.
“Well, you just remember one thing, little boy, Adam loves me. You think right now that you can make him listen to you…take your side against mine, but once we’re married, all of that will change. He’ll never believe a word you say, ever again…and Little Joe…you understand this…”
Rachel towered over the boy whose back was pressed firmly against the tree behind him. She bent her head down, her nose practically brushing against Joe’s.
“When your old man dies, don’t think that you will ruin my life by having to live with Adam and I…it won’t ever happen young man. I promise you…you will be sent away…far away…to boarding school, or perhaps military school. I’ll convince your brother that it would be in your best interest…and he’ll believe me. You know what a stickler he is about getting an education…and without your father…whom, in my opinion spoils you, Adam will see the logic in my thinking and you, Little Joe, will be sent away so fast, you won’t even realize you’re gone until it’s too late!”
Rachel brushed her fingers tenderly along the fine lines of Joe’s face until they entwined themselves in his thick curls.
“Don’t you even think about telling your brothers what I’ve just said. I’ll only deny it. I’ll make your life a living hell, little boy, I’ll even work my charms on your father…do I make myself clear?”
She tightened her fingers around the chestnut locks. Joe had no doubt to her meaning and he was just about to say so, when Adam suddenly appeared from out of the darkness. Instantly, he felt Rachel’s fingers release his hair and lovingly cup his chin.
Joe turned startled eyes up to peer into hers, only to see her smiling lovingly down at him.
“I accept your apology, Little Joe,” she cooed sweetly in that fake, honey-coated voice that Joe had grown to hate. “It was quite gracious of you to do so,” she added.
“Well, I see that things have been corrected,” Adam said lightly as he slipped his arm about Rachel’s tiny waist. “Thank you, Joe,” Adam smiled down at his brother.
Joe was unable to say a word. His body quivered slightly as Rachel continued to run her slender fingers through his hair, and he felt as if he might burst into tears at any moment. He was terrified at what this woman would do to him if he failed to do as she had implied.
“I…am…sorry, Adam,” he murmured and then turned, running to the house.
Joe slammed the door to his bedroom and flung himself across his bed. He was no longer able to contain his tears as he buried his face into the pillow and began to cry. He missed his father, he hated the woman downstairs who seemed to want to ruin his life and take from him everyone whom he held dear. He wouldn’t admit to anyone, but the woman’s threats frightened him. She had been correct in what she had said about Adam and his quirks about furthering his education. He had overheard some of the conversations himself that his father and brother had had in regard to Joe attending a good college sometime later on, and he had no doubt that if his father were not around, Rachel could indeed convince Adam that Joe be sent away to one. Joe sighed deeply, she’d probably suggest some high-falutin’ college in Europe, that might be far enough away, he reckoned.
***********
Joe turned over onto his back. His thoughts turned to his father and Joe couldn’t help but wonder how much longer Ben would be gone. It had barely been three weeks and he missed his father something fierce. If only Pa were here, troubled Joe, he could go to him and tell him what Rachel had threatened to do to him. Joe contemplated going to Adam, but he felt sure that Adam would never believe him, and Hoss…well, Hoss blamed everything he did on the fact that he missed his father so badly.
Time ticked slowly by as Joe at last gave in to the sleep that tugged at his weary eyes. He hadn’t been asleep long when Rachel’s candy-coated smile appeared before his eyes.
“No! No! You can’t make me!” screamed the dreaming boy as he thrashed about from side to side.
The covers had been knocked to the floor, the pillows lay in wrinkled piles and still Joe cried out from his night terror.
“Please…don’t make me go…PA! ADAM!” shouted Joe.
The boy’s eyes had opened and he had sat upright in the middle of the bed. His face was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and tiny droplets rolled slowly from the corners of his eyes. Joe’s eyes moved wildly around the room, his mind slowly awaking from the nightmare as he searched for something familiar.
The door opened unexpectedly as Adam hurried to his brother’s side and sat gently on the edge of the bed.
“Hey, Little Buddy,” Adam said.
He saw the tears streaming down the front of Joe’s face and a sudden paternal feeling washed over him. He gently pulled his brother into his arms and held him. He could feel the slight tremors that coursed their way throughout Joe’s body. Something had caused the nightmare and the unknown reason for the haunting dream that had left his brother weak and trembling troubled him.
“Joe,” Adam said in his soft smooth voice as he brushed back the dampened curls with one hand while gently pressing the boy’s head against his chest with his other hand.
“Do you want to talk about what has you so upset?”
Joe seemed to welcome the comforting embrace and clinging tightly to his brother, he shook his head.
“No,” he muttered in a tiny voice.
“Are you sure, Joe? 'Cause I know something has you upset. Does it have anything to do with what happened at supper this evening?” Adam pressured.
His brother’s words seemed to strike fresh fear in his heart. As much as he would like to tell his brother about what the obnoxious woman had said to him, Joe held his tongue, fearing the consequences. Besides, Joe doubted that Adam would even believe him.
“No,” Joe said. “Just promise me something, Adam…please?” he whispered as he struggled to control his emotions.
“Anything buddy, just name it.”
Joe raised his head slightly so that he could see Adam’s face.
“Promise me that, no matter what, you won’t ever send me away?”
A sob, which Joe had not meant to let slip, did indeed get caught in his throat.
Adam seemed truly troubled by the odd question. He watched his little brother’s face and saw the doubt that clouded the usually dancing eyes.
“Joe, why would ask me something like that?” Adam questioned.
“Just promise me Adam…no matter what happens, or what anyone tells you…just promise, you’ll never send me away.”
Joe was on the verge of a break down and his brother hurried to relieve Joe’s anxiety.
“I promise buddy, I’ll never send you away. Beside, where on earth do you think I’d send you?” Adam forced a smile in hopes that Joe would relax a bit more.
In response to Adam’s promise, Joe pressed his head deeply against his brother’s breast. The sound of the thumping heart beneath his ear acted as a relaxant and slowly Joe stopped crying.
“I don’t know…just…please remember…you promised,” Joe sighed.
“I won’t forget, Joe…ever,” whispered Adam.
Adam gently fingered the soft dark curls and listened to the sound of Joe’s breathing, as it became steady and more relaxed. He felt Joe’s body quiver twice more, and then as Joe fell asleep, his body went limp within the folds of his arms. Carefully Adam lowered his brother’s head back down onto his pillow and sat for several long moments watching the boy sleep.
“Why won’t you tell me what’s bothering you, little buddy?” Adam whispered softly to the sleeping child. “What are you so afraid of?” he wondered aloud.
“Maybe he’s afraid of losing you?” Hoss said from the doorway where he had been silently watching the scene between his two brothers.
Carefully so that he would not wake the sleeping boy, Adam tiptoed from the room. Once in the hallway, he pulled the bedroom door almost closed.
“That’s an odd thing to say, Hoss. What do you mean, Joe’s afraid of losing me?” Adam quizzed as the two walked side by side down the hall.
“He’s afraid that once you marry Miss Rachel, you’ll forget all about him,” Hoss spoke honestly.
He had wondered almost the same thing about Adam and himself, yet he had refrained from asking his brother. It was obvious to all of them just how much Adam loved the beautiful woman who had captured his heart. And it was only right and proper that his brother transfer part of his devotion and dedication that he had for his immediate family to his new wife, once they married. Hoss had no intentions of disrupting his brother’s happiness by acting in a jealous, childish manner, for all he had ever wished for each of his family members was that they be happy, and Adam seemed to glow with happiness.
“That’s ridiculous, Hoss,” Adam laughed softly. “Just because I marry Rachel, won’t mean that Little Joe will lose me…where’d he ever get such a silly notion?”
“It might seem silly to you, big brother, but to Little Joe, it’s real. Ya know, he don’t like Rachel, don’t ya?” Hoss rested his hand on Adam’s arm, stopping the older brother from going on. “He’s afraid of her…don’t ask me why, but he is. I can see it everytime she comes near him. He almost cringes, and it ain’t normal Adam…he ain’t never done nuthin’ to your lady…nuthin’.”
“Afraid of Rachel? Why, she’s always been most attentive to him, she’s always smiling at him and doing nice little things for him. She even baked him cookies the other day, and she said this evening before she left that she wanted to come by and pick him up so that she could take him into town with her and buy him something. She was afraid that she had hurt his feeling by saying what she said and she wants to make it up to him.”
Adam shook his head in disbelief and laughed softly to himself. When he looked up at Hoss, his eyes glowed with happiness.
“I can’t imagine why on earth Joe’d be afraid of Rachel, she’s the kindest, more caring young woman I’ve ever met,” said Adam.
“I don’t know, Adam, I’m just atellin’ ya what I seen with my own eyes.” Hoss ran his fingers through his thinning hair and yawned. “I’m goin’ back to bed. Night, Adam,” he said as he pushed open the door to his room.
“Night, Hoss,” answered Adam.
**********
“No!” shouted Joe, stomping his foot on the hard floor.
“Yes you are, and you are going to be polite about it!” Adam stated firmly.
The two brothers were facing one another. Joe’s arms dangled down at his sides, his fingers folded into tight fitting fists as he glared defiantly at his older brother.
Adam, just as determined that Joe would do as he issued, stood looking confidently down at Joe, his arms folded snugly across his broad chest.
“No, I’m not…and you can’t make me!” Joe shouted back.
He was forced to take a step back as Adam advanced on him.
“All she wants is for you to accompany her into town. She’d like to buy you something nice, to show you that she didn’t mean to hurt your feelings last night at supper,” Adam explained.
“I don’t want her to buy me anything…and she didn’t hurt my feelings…she made me mad!” Joe took another step back but was forced to stop when Adam clutched his shoulder.
“Joseph, I’m telling you for the last time. You will go with Rachel into town. She really felt bad about getting you in to trouble and she wants to make it up to you. It’s her way to say I’m sorry,” Adam said.
He was confused about his brother’s reluctance to accompany his fiancee into town. Adam watched as Joe struggled against the tears that threatened to spill over. Hoss’ words from the night before had stuck in his mind but Adam had brushed them aside. Now he wondered if perhaps what Hoss had hinted at, that Joe was afraid of Rachel might really be true.
“Joe, please buddy, won’t you do this one thing…for me? It would mean a lot to me. I want you to get to know Rachel better and…I’d be pleased if you learned to like her. Give her a chance to prove herself to you…please?”
Adam’s tone had softened and he hoped that Joe would willingly change his mind. It was important to him that Joe learned to like Rachel and accept her as part of the family.
Joe lowered his head; the fight had gone out of him. How could he refuse his brother? Adam was like a second father to him, he had always been there whenever Joe had needed him and Adam had never, not once, broken a promise he had made to him. Joe glanced up, noting the uneasy expression in his brother’s eyes. If he refused to do as Adam asked, his brother might remember this another day and send him away. Joe gulped and then swallowed the knot that had thickened in his throat.
“Okay, Adam,” he said in a tiny voice that was void of all emotion. “I’ll do it, but not for her…for you.”
Adam cupped the back of his brother’s head with his hand and gently pulled the boy into a hug.
“Thanks Joe, you have no idea how much this means to me. Rachel means the world to me…I want you to like her.”
He gave the boy a tight squeeze and then, hearing the sound of an approaching buggy, looked up.
“Here she comes now,” he said.
Joe heard the excitement in Adam’s deep voice and was not the least surprised when Adam dropped his arms from around his body and quickly moved to help Rachel down from the buggy. As Adam held out his arms, Joe scrunched up his face at the sickening smile that Rachel gave to Adam. It disgusted him to watch how Adam became all mushy, holding Rachel in his arms longer than Joe had deemed necessary and how Adam’s lips brushed tenderly at the side of Rachel’s cheek. When Rachel slipped her arms about Adam’s neck and whispered something in his ear and then looked over his shoulder at Joe, Joe turned away. Rachel’s soft laughter rang in the boy’s ear and when Adam’s laughter mingled with hers, Joe glanced over his shoulder to see what was so funny. He was surprised to see both Rachel and his brother looking at him, their arms interwoven and clinging tightly to each other.
“Aren’t you going to come over here and say hello to me?” Rachel laughed lightly. She turned her head slightly, glancing at Adam. “Why darling,” she cooed, “I do believe the boy is blushing!”
Adam’s face showed his happiness as he motioned for Joe to join them.
“Come on Little Joe, say hello to Rachel.”
Joe retraced his steps and stopped in front of the pair.
“Afternoon, ma’am,” he said shyly.
When Rachel reached out at him and gently caressed his cheek, it was all Joe could do to keep from pulling back.
“My, aren’t we on our best behavior?” she said and then moved her hand away, but not before leaving a tiny scratch on the boy’s face.
“Ouch!” cried Joe.
His hand went to the side of his face and he glared at the woman who stood before him.
“Oh, dear, did I scratch you? I’m so sorry Little Joe,” cooed Rachel. She gently cupped Joe’s chin and turned his head to the side. “It’s barely bleeding,” she said with sarcasm in her voice.
Adam had moved away to check the harnesses on the horse, leaving Rachel and Joe alone. Joe felt his body quiver as Rachel’s hand brushed at his face.
“You did that on purpose,” he growled in a low voice.
“But you aren’t going to say a thing…are you?” she whispered.
She stressed her point by clutching the back of Joe’s neck tightly. Rachel smiled down at Joe, giving the appearance that the pair was enjoying their little conversation.
Joe squirmed under the pressure, his eyes sought for his brother, but Adam had followed Hoss into the barn.
“You’d better keep your mouth shut you little brat…or else!” threatened Rachel.
Joe was mad and he made no move to hide that fact. He pulled back from the fingers holding his neck, but Rachel only tightened her grip.
“Or what?” Joe muttered.
“Don’t you dare test me, Joe Cartwright. You’ll lose big time. He’d never believe you…not in a hundred years. You saw how he looks at me, and the way his hands hold me so gently.” Rachel laughed, her timing was perfect for Adam had come from the barn and was making his way over to them.
Rachel smiled again at Joe and then released her hold on his neck. As she turned to Adam, her face held no expression of the hatred she had for her fiancée’s youngest brother.
“We were just about ready to leave, darling,” she told Adam. “Joe’s looking forward to spending the day with me, aren’t you, Little Joe?”
Joe hated the way in which Rachel used his nickname. She made it sound so…so…vulgar.
“Of course,” he said, hiding his own distaste at the turn of events.
Joe climbed into the buggy and waited until Rachel had settled herself next to him. He could feel the excitement that caused her body to shiver when she leaned over and allowed Adam to plant a kiss on her cheek.
“You drive carefully, young man,” he instructed his younger brother.
“I’ll see you this afternoon,” he told Rachel.
Joe could not bring himself to look at his brother for it was taking all he had within himself to keep from crying. The last place he wanted to be was alone with this crazed woman who had somehow managed to convince herself that it was her duty to make his life miserable. He clicked loudly to the horse and headed for town without so much as a goodbye to either brother who stood watching his departure.
**********
They had been riding in silence for several miles. Joe kept the horse at a steady trot, wanting nothing more but to get to town where he hoped he could get away from the piercing looks that Rachel continued to give him.
“I think that you should slow down, just a bit?” she told Joe.
“Why? I thought you were in a hurry to get to town,” Joe snapped.
“Oh, that was just an excuse. Slow this horse down, Little Joe…that’s an order,” she demanded, glaring angrily at the boy beside her.
When Joe refused to do as she had asked Rachel grabbed the leather straps from his hands and yanked back on the reins, causing the horse to nearly stumble in its attempt to stop so quickly.
“Hey, you can’t treat an animal like that!” Joe shouted as he turned to face Rachel.
“It’s my horse and I’ll treat him anyway I please!” she yelled back at him.
Her voice softened as she wrapped the reins around the break lever and began climbing down from the buggy.
“Get down and help me,” she ordered.
Joe refused to move, until he felt the sting of the crop that Rachel held between her hands.
“Do as I say or I’ll beat you with this!”
Joe jumped quickly from the seat and hurried to do, as Rachel had demanded. His shoulder stung from the lash Rachel had rendered.
When Joe’s fingers circled the young woman’s waist, Rachel placed her hands on the boy’s shoulders and allowed him to help her down. Once her feet were firmly planted on the ground, Joe released his hold, but Rachel only tightened hers and taking the boy by surprise, pressed her enticing body against his, which was trapped between the side of the buggy and Rachel’s warm body.
Immediately Joe tried to wiggle free, but Rachel only squeezed herself closer against Joe’s pounding heart. His young face beaded with tiny droplets of perspiration, causing Rachel to giggle softly. Her fingers left his shoulders and moved to either side of Joe’s face, tracing the lines in a loving manner.
Joe felt his body become rigid as he tried to lean his head further back to escape her fervid fingers. He was scared, frightened and very unsure of what this provocative woman was trying to do to him.
“Get away from me,” he muttered between clenched teeth.
“Why Joseph, don’t you like me?” Rachel said in an enticing voice.
She leaned her face down, brushing her lips against his ears and nibbling gently at one lobe.
“No!” she heard the boy say and then laughed when Joe moaned softly.
“Your brother likes it too, when I do this.”
Rachel’s tongue darted into Joe’s ear, nearly taking the boy’s breath away. He tried to turn so that she could not repeat the suggestive move, but his head twisted toward her lips instead of away and when Rachel felt Joe’s hot lips brush her cheek, she reacted by covering the boy’s with her own.
The woman’s lips pressed against Joe’s, sealing their lips as one. Joe closed his eyes to the pleasantness of the kiss, losing himself in the bewitching moment. A voice from deep within, warned Joe that this was wrong, this was his brother’s bride-to-be but Joe was unable, or unwilling, he wasn’t totally sure, to push her away. It was the first time in his life that he had been kissed like that, and his five senses seemed to over rule his common sense. It was only when he was aware of her hands clawing at the buttons of his shirt that he awoke to what was happening to him.
His eyes popped open and he began to struggle against the hands that seemed to be everywhere.
“NO!” he managed to shout.
He forced his body upright and pushed Rachel away with his hands. Rachel, startled by the sudden movement, staggered and fell down into the dirt. When she turned to look up at Joe, who had moved away, and whose body trembled with fear of what he had allowed to take place, Rachel jumped to her feet, swinging the small crop at Joe.
Repeatedly she hit Joe, ripping his shirt and leaving long thin welts across his back where he had been forced to turn to keep the weapon from disfiguring his face.
“HOW DARE YOU!” Ranted Rachel loudly.
She was like a woman driven; her aim was deadly as the whip continued its assault on the boy.
When she stopped to catch her breath, Joe grabbed at the whip, ripping it from her hand and tossing it into the thick growing weeds. Exhausted, Joe dropped to his knees. His back was on fire and he could do nothing to stop the flow of tears that ran unchecked down his face.
He heard Rachel sigh deeply and when she knelt down in front of him, he cringed, covering his head with his arms. Rachel’s hands gently clasped Joe’s arms and moved them away.
“Shh…don’t cry, Little Joe,” she said in a sweet voice. “I won’t tell Adam what you did…honest. But you have to be nice to me, or I might change my mind.”
Joe jerked his head up, staring in disbelief at the woman in front of him. He pulled his arms free of her hands and quickly stood to his feet. When Rachel rose as well, Joe stepped back away from the woman’s flailing arms.
“What I did?” he stammered, “I didn’t do anything…you…you…”
Rachel’s insane laughter caused Joe’s words to falter and he instantly hushed.
“Oh you stupid little boy…I didn’t do a thing to you…it was you who attacked me!”
She laughed again, loudly, wickedly, and took a step closer to Joe. She had placed her hands on her hips and her body swayed seductively in front of the startled, speechless boy.
“No one will ever believe that I tried to seduce you…especially Adam. You silly imp, he thinks I’m perfect…and he knows you are…are…impulsive and wild and most likely to try anything. That’s what I’ll tell him, that you became overly excited when I accidentally brushed up against you and when I tried to push you away, you became enraged and tried to attack me.”
Rachel smiled at the frightened look on Joe’s face and gently brushed her fingers across his cheek. Joe slapped at her hand, knocking her arm away.
“You’re nothing but a bitch,” he whispered.
The slap to his cheek had stung. Rachel had left the impression of her handprint on the side of his face.
“Don’t you ever call me that again!” she practically screamed in Joe’s face.
Rachel moved to the wagon and grabbed Joe’s jacket. When she turned around, she flung it at him.
“Put that on, and get back in the wagon,” she ordered in a husky voice.
Joe hurried to comply, fearing that she might strike him again. When he was seated, she climbed into the seat and sat next to him. She turned, facing him, all the anger and repulsion had disappeared and she looked as if nothing strange had just happened.
“I think today, Little Joe, I will buy you a new shirt. The one you have on is a mess,” she smiled at him. “I can’t have my future brother-in-law going around looking like a street urchin, now can I?”
Joe’s body shuddered and he fought against the sickness that lay heavily in the pit of his stomach. He felt like vomiting, and he wished desperately that his father would come home.
***********
When Rachel pulled the horse to a stop, they were in front of the mercantile store. Joe started to climb down from the wagon but was stopped when Rachel’s sharp fingernails dug into his arm. Joe’s frightened eyes fixed themselves on the long slender fingers with the manicured nails. He looked up into the lady’s face, surprised to see her smiling at him.
“Stay in the wagon, and don’t you dare speak to anyone. I’ll buy you a new shirt and then we’ll be on our way.”
She released her fingers and Joe pulled his arm to him, rubbing at the soreness as Rachel turned, smiled bewitchingly at a passerby who tipped his hat at her and then entered the store. Joe settled himself back against the seat and glanced around. The streets were filled with people, all going in different directions and Joe suddenly wished that he could lose himself in the crowd. He was scared that Adam or Hoss might see the marks on his back and if they did, Joe knew that they would question him and if so, what would he tell them? He was convinced that Adam would never believe him if he were to tell his brother the truth about what had happened. How could he ever make his brother believe that the woman whom he loved, the lady he wished to spend the rest of his life with, had actually made unladylike advances to him?
Joe groaned softly, Adam would hate him if he knew that things such as this had been going on almost since the first day that Adam had brought Rachel to the Ponderosa. It had become a constant battle for him, trying to figure out ways to avoid the temptress and maneuver himself away from her so that he need not be within her reach. He was at his wit’s end and he was lost as to what to do or who to confide in. He wished his father would come home…but above all else, he was frightened.
Joe hung his head, his tears slipped slowly downward and dripped off the end of his chin. He brushed them away with the sleeve of his jacket, unaware that someone had called his name.
“Little Joe? Hey!”
Joe jumped when he felt the hand that playfully nudged him. His head pivoted around at the sound of the soft laughter and when he spied Paul Martin, his father’s close friend, laughing lightly at him, Joe let out a long sigh.
“You must have been a million miles away, son,” Paul smiled.
“Sorry sir,” Joe muttered and then cast anxious eyes around toward the doorway of the store, afraid that Rachel would catch him talking to someone.
“Joe, I said, have you heard from your father?”
Paul had noted the tear stained face and the haunting look but had refrained from asking the boy about why he’d been crying. Paul summed it up to the fact that the boy was missing his father, for it was no secret to him how Joe suffered when his father was away on business. He had no reason to suspect that anything different might possibly be wrong with the boy, so to avoid embarrassing the lad, Paul ignored the boy’s tears.
“Oh, no sir,” Joe said and then glanced back at the door.
Rachel stood midway of the opening, glaring up at him. The anger had returned to her eyes, and when she tossed the package up at him and climbed in next to Joe, she grabbed the reins and without so much as a nod of her head to the good doctor, Rachel slapped the horse’s rump. Joe glanced over at the angered woman and then back at the doctor. Paul had to step aside to keep from being run over and the look that remained on his face was one of total surprise.
About a mile out of town, Rachel turned the huffing horse off onto a narrow path.
“Where you going?” Joe dared to ask.
Rachel said nothing, but urged the horse on. When she finally stopped, they were a good half a mile from the main road. She tossed down the reins and turned her fury on the boy next to her. Several times she struck Joe with her balled up fists, shouting obscenities at him. Joe tried to protect himself with his arms, yet several of her blows struck him about his shoulders and once on the side of his face.
When she’d at last satisfied her rage, she climbed down from the wagon.
“Get down here…now!” she bellowed, “or I might just have to speak to your brother about your behavior!” she threatened.
Joe hurried to climb down. Rachel had grabbed the package from the floor in front of the seat where it had fallen and was ripping away the brown paper that Mr. Cass had so carefully wrapped around the new shirt.
“Take your shirt off,” she ordered the boy.
Joe hesitated but seeing how quickly the lady’s eyes darkened, he began pulling off his jacket and began to fumble with the buttons on his shirt. He didn’t look up, but he felt Rachel watching him and not knowing what she might try next, caused Joe’s hands to shake.
“Hurry it up,” she said buoyantly.
The anger sounded as if it were gone from Rachel’s voice and Joe chanced a quick look at the woman’s face. He shuddered, for her deep blue eyes watched every move. They had fixed themselves on his unsteady fingers and when she stepped closer, Joe backed up.
“Let me help you Little Joe,” she cooed melodiously.
Joe was amazed at how quickly she went from raging fury to pure ladylike fashion, all with one breath. Her actions when her hand covered his and tugged at the buttons on his shirt caused him to suck in his breath. Her touch was gentle, almost loving as she helped Joe remove his arms from his torn and ripped shirt.
Once Joe’s shirt was off, and his chest bared, he had taken several steps backward, trying to distance himself from the prying eyes that raked his body. Joe wasn’t sure what one would call the look in the woman’s eyes. But Joe knew he had seen it before, in his brother’s dark eyes while he had been hiding, watching as Adam’s hand tried to explore Rachel’s body and both, Rachel and Adam had been unaware of his presence.
“Come here,” she ordered the boy.
“No…just give me the shirt so I…” stammered Joe.
“In a minute. I said, come over here,” she said with more force.
Joe refused to move and shook his head no.
“I’ll scream,” Rachel threatened.
“So?” dared Joe. “There’s no one around here.”
“Are you so sure? Or maybe you’d like to find out. I saw some young men a ways back, fishing.”
She snickered softly at the doubt that had sprung so quickly into her future brother-in-law’s hazel eyes. When Joe cast apprehensive eyes over his shoulder as if searching for the mysterious young men, Rachel laughed aloud.
Taking a deep breath, Joe moved closer to Rachel. He couldn’t take a chance on being seen here, half-naked with his brother’s intended bride.
Joe flinched when he felt the long nails rake downward across his exposed chest to his stomach. He closed his eyes, refusing to meet hers. His nose picked up the scent of her lingering perfume and he swallowed hard, for the fingers had gently tugged at his nipples, making them harden with her touch.
When her lips gently brushed against his, Joe opened his eyes, and drew back. As he took a step back, he snatched the shirt from her hands and hurried to slip his arms into the sleeves. The sound of her tittering rang in his ears and he turned his back to the young woman.
“Don’t be embarrassed, Joe,” she said from behind him. “It won’t be much longer until you’re fully grown.”
She placed her hand on Joe’s back but he moved away for the second time. Joe could hear the desire in her voice and it scared him.
“And when you are Joe, I’ll be here…to teach you. It’ll be our little secret; we won’t even have to tell Adam.”
She giggled like a schoolgirl and as she rounded the end of the buggy, she reached out and playfully swatted Joe’s behind.
Joe glared at her but said nothing. When he had his new shirt stuffed into his pants, he climbed back into the buggy and grabbed the reins. An hour later, they entered the yard.
**********
Adam came from the barn and helped Rachel down, giving her a quick kiss. Joe was silent and sullen as he hurried toward the house and refused to speak when Adam called out a greeting.
“What’s with him? I hope he hasn’t been rude to you again today,” Adam said as he watched his little brother cross the yard.
“Oh no, we’ve had a lovely day sweetheart. Joe is a lovely child, once I got him to talking. Why he’s so flattering, you’d never believe the sweet things he says to me. I must have been imagining things when I said that I felt as if your little brother didn’t like me!”
Rachel smiled lovingly up at Adam and laced her arms through his as he led her toward the house.
Adam smiled, relieved that things had gone so well this afternoon. He had fretted all day that he had made the wrong decision by practically forcing Joe to accompany Rachel into town. But seeing how happy Rachel was now and hearing about how well she and Joe had gotten along, the worry vanished and Adam felt that somehow the future Mrs. Adam Cartwright and his youngest brother had come to some sort of peaceful agreement. He’d have to remember to thank the boy for putting forth an effort.
**********
Upstairs in his room, Joe had thrown himself across his bed. He wanted to cry, but he refused to allow himself the right for he was too ashamed of what he had allowed to happen. He wasn’t totally sure how all of it had come about, or how he had permitted his brother’s bride-to-be to kiss him, nor the sensuous feeling that he had felt when she had. The one thing that Joe was sure of, and that was his feelings of guilt and betrayal. For wasn’t that exactly what he had done, betrayed his brother? Rachel had made it plain to him that Adam would never believe him, nor would his brother ever forgive him for destroying the love that he so deeply felt for her.
Joe crossed the room to peer out from the window. Adam and Rachel stood in the shade of the trees speaking softly with one another. Whatever the beautiful woman had just said to him, Adam tossed back his head and laughed. Even from where he stood behind the drapes, Joe could see the happy smile that his brother wore and once more his heart broke for what he had committed. Unable to hold back his tears, Joe turned and dropped back down on the bed and began weeping.
He was so wrapped up in his own anguish that he failed to hear the gentle knock at his door, or the silent pitter-patter of soft footed steps that stopped at the side of the bed.
“Why little boy cry?”
Joe raised his head and spun around, nearly knocking the kind, soft-spoken servant to the floor in his haste to get up.
“I…I…wasn’t crying, Hop Sing,” stammered Joe as he wiped away the dampness from his face.
“No? Then why face all wet…and nose dripping?” Hop Sing quizzed. “Is boy sick? No feel well?”
Joe turned his back to Hop Sing and acted as if he were looking for something on the dresser.
“I…I…”
Joe was at a loss for words, he hadn’t counted on anyone coming into his room and catching him crying, let alone asking why.
Hop Sing moved silently across the room and stopped just inches from the boy and placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder. He was startled when Joe flinched and moved away from his tender touch.
“What wong, Lil’tle