Love Comes Late

by DJK 

Marie heard the door open and looked at the clock. Then she turned her head to watch the dark-haired boy who had stopped just inside the door to place his hat on the proper peg.

"Adam.”

He turned to face her, standing warily next to the credenza. "Yes?”

Marie had noticed that her stepson's ma'am disappeared whenever her husband was not in the room. "Come here, please.”

He approached slowly to stand before her. The defiance was there etched in his stance, but he kept his eyes downcast.

"It's been dark for over an hour.” Her simple statement was met with silence. "Why are you late?"

He threw his head back and gazed down at her. "I was delayed."

"Delayed?” She cocked her head and raised her eyebrow questioningly.

"Yes, delayed.” It was a statement yet a challenge nonetheless.

She stood bringing her eyes level with the twelve-year-old wishing that her petit frame were taller or that the boy had not inherited his father's height.

"And what was it that delayed you?” The question was edged with insistence.

"It was a private matter.” He gave her look that dared her to accept that any private matter of his was no business of hers. Her fingers curled tightly in the folds of her gown.

"A private matter, Adam. I doubt that your father will feel anything that keeps you from our dinner table and out alone after dark can remain private.” If she had not been looking directly into his eyes, she would not have seen the flicker of concern.

"That would be between Pa and me.” His tone was full of bravado, but Marie was focusing on his eyes. 

"Yes, I'm sure you and Benjamin will have a very private discussion when he is informed."

He swallowed as if something had suddenly filled his throat. "May I go and have something to eat?"

She had told Hop Sing to set a plate for Adam in the warmer, but she was tempted to send him to bed without it. Had not her own parents used that means to impress the lesson of promptness to meals on her? Then they both heard it, the soft sound of his empty stomach rumbling. Adam's checks flushed at the betrayal.

"Your supper is in the warmer.” He turned on his heel and walked toward the kitchen.

Marie bit her lower lip as she watched him depart. For just that short moment, he had looked the little boy. She sighed. Ben's first born was an intelligent, mature, and ever so stubborn boy who played the role of grown-up far too well. Still, he was but a boy, and Benjamin's wrath was capable of cowering full-grown men. Perhaps she could simply not inform her husband of Adam's tardiness. There were a number of things she had not shared with Ben about the boy's behavior in the ten months she had been his stepmother.

She walked over to the fireplace and stared into its depths.

"Mama?” The voice floated down from the stair landing. Marie turned and saw Hoss looking down into the great room. "Is Adam home?"

"Yes, Hoss, he is home.” She turned and smiled at the six-year-old. "Now, it is time for you to get ready for bed, mon petit. I will be up to tuck you in and hear your prayers.” When he hesitated, she shooed him with her hands, “Quick now! Away with you."

Hoss turned and darted up the stairs. Marie sighed again. If only Adam allowed people to love him as easily as did his brother, being a mother would be truly the joy she had dreamed.

Marie heard sounds from the kitchen and the sound of voices. Hop Sing was apparently making Adam aware that missing meals would not be well tolerated by the cook.

Marie mounted the stairs and knocked lightly on Hoss' door before entering his room. The little boy had changed into a nightshirt and washed his face earning her smile. She walked toward him then spotted his pants and shirt on the floor. The smile faded.

"Hoss," she chided gently, "where do we leave our clothes?"

"Sorry, Mama.” Hoss scrambled to pick up the offending garments and place them properly away.

"Very good." Marie nodded approvingly. "Now, I shall hear your prayers.” She sat on edge of the bed as her stepson knelt beside it. Folding his chubby hands and bowing his blond head, Hoss began his nightly litany. 

"And please make Pa not be mad with Adam for being bad. Amen!” Hoss bounced off his knees and onto the bed.

Marie digested his last petition. Then she heard Hoss’ soft voice.

"Are ya gonna tell Pa about Adam not coming in 'til afta dark?"

Not knowing the answer, Marie said, “Adam should have been home on time. He should not be out alone this late. He must learn this is so."

Hoss bit his lip. "That's 'cause he coulda been hurted, and we was worried?"

Marie brushed the hair back from Hoss’ brow. Yes, this little one had been worried about his brother, and that was perhaps the worst of what Adam had done. "A person should not do that which makes those who love him worry."

"I's worried now, Mama. I's worried Adam will get a tanning from Pa.” He leaned closer as if to confide a great secret. "Pa onliest spanks me, but he tans Adam."

"Only when Adam deserves it," she observed.

Hoss dropped his chin to his chest and let his lower lip slip outward. "Hurts just the same. Adam ‘tends it don't, but he cries after."

"Perhaps Adam will have a good reason to give your father. It is not your worry, mon petit. Now, you must close your eyes and have sweet dreams.” Marie leaned down and kissed his cheek. Hoss threw his arms around her neck and kissed her back.

"Good night, Mama. I love ya. Wish I could tell Pa I love him too."

"Know we both love you, Hoss, always."

Marie closed the door behind her and stood in the dark hall. Suddenly she roused and walked quickly to her room. Taking her rosary from the nightstand, she sank to her knees and began praying to the Holy Mother to grant her wisdom and guide her as she tried to mother both her sons.

 ********** 

Adam took a bite of meat and chewed slowly. With his other hand, he rubbed the sting in his backside. He told himself he should have had the sense to sit down quick the minute Hop Sing stepped into the kitchen. Hop Sing has delivered one swat with his wooden spoon and a dozen verbal lashes before ordering number one son to leave no mess and storming from the room. Adam sighed. Hop Sing would fuss at him tonight, but he would not say anything to Pa tomorrow. At the thought of his father's return, Adam swallowed and set down his fork. He wanted his pa home badly, yet the thought of the session he and his father would surely have when Ben Cartwright learned of his son's behavior in his absence caused Adam's stomach to roll. He had not meant to be late, especially not this late. He had only wanted to say goodbye, but even that had gone wrong. He sighed. He had not even kept from being disrespectful to Marie, and this time she might tell Pa of his insolence. The rest of his appetite slipped away, but Adam had learned hard lessons about any food being too precious to waste when he was very young, and they keep him mechanically chewing through the rest of the food on his plate.

 ********** 

Marie rose from her knees and walked downstairs to check the house. Knowing that everything was secured, she decided that her empty bed was preferable to the empty great room. At least if she slept, she might dream that Benjamin was already back in her arms.

She mounted the stairs and started toward her room. As she passed Adam's bedroom door, she heard a slight sound. The door had not been firmly closed and had drifted slightly open. She paused and listened intently. She did not know if it was her ears or some other sense that told her Adam was far from asleep, but suddenly she knew that he was lying in that dark room crying. She slipped into the room, crossed to the bed, and set down the dimmed lamp she carried.

"Adam.” The utterance was soft and lilted in the way that only her Creole tongue said his name.

"Go away!” It was a vehement command.

Instead of complying, she sat down lightly on the edge of the bed. Adam was lying on his side curled around his pillow facing the wall.

"I don't want you here!” The fervor of the statement was muffled only by the pillow in which the boy had buried his head.

Always before when he had turned his back to her, when his words or behavior had pushed her away, she had retreated, but this time she simply remained.

"I don't intend to leave you alone crying in the dark.” She made that simple statement softly but clearly.

"I'm not crying!” Petulance took the force from his exclamation. A faint smile flickered on her lips; he sounded like such a small boy.

"Then I won't leave you not crying alone in the dark."

In response, he inched away from her and buried his face deeper into the pillow. Marie studied the rigid shoulders in their striped nightshirt and the dark hair that curled against his neck. If she told Ben tonight's story, tomorrow would find the boy sobbing into his pillow again. 

Hoping he had an acceptable reason for his tardiness, she ventured gently, "Adam, why were you late tonight?"

"I want you to go away!” It was a desperate and harsh whisper. Marie knew that he meant far more than her immediate departure from his room.

"I'm not, you know. I'm not going. Your father and I are man and wife, Adam. I'm not going anywhere."

"People go away sometimes. People mostly go away.” His mutters were filled with resigned despair.

She felt the tears fill her eyes. Many people had left this child's life; many people had left hers. Then somehow she knew the right question to ask.

"Who's going away now?"

"Miss Clare.” He answered without thought the name slipping from his lips.

"Clare? Clare DeWitt." The name came immediately to her mind, and the memory followed.

She had been so happy to have finally reached Ben's Ponderosa yet so nervous because she would be meeting his children, the boys who would be her sons. The pictures came one after another like illustrations in a book: the first sight of the house; a sturdy, little blonde racing out the door; the tall, slim youth who followed him so warily; and then the woman who walked up behind Adam and placed her hand on his shoulder squeezing it reassuringly. 

Ben had already told her, of course, about Clare. She and her brother had traveled the final part of the way West with Ben and his boys. They had settled nearby. The families had become close friends. Alan Dewitt had been killed, but his sister had stayed on. When Ben had faced leaving his boys for such a long time, he had known that Hop Sing would care for them diligently, but he had asked Clare, the daughter of a Harvard professor, to come to the ranch and supervise the boys' studies. In her mind, Marie had labeled the woman the governess. Before Clare Dewitt had left the house the next morning, Marie had known that her stepsons loved the woman, that Ben considered her a dear friend, and that Clare DeWitt had hoped one day he would feel something more. They had seen far less of Clare in the last ten months then would have been expected. Marie wondered if Adam understood why Clare had kept her distance and why Marie had not been surprised when Ben had told her Clare had decided to return to the East to take a teaching position at a girls' school.

  "Ben loves you very much, Marie; that is obvious to anyone who sees the two of you together.” Clare DeWitt's voice had been soft and not meant to carry beyond Marie's ears. "I'm happy he has found that."

"We are blessed to have found each other," Marie replied in a tone that matched.

"And the boys. It is good that they shall have a mother."

"They are good boys.” Worry had crept into Marie's voice.

"Adam will come around.” Clare had seen enough of the boy's reaction to his father's new wife to understand that worry. "It's not so much you -- yourself I mean -- it's that Adam…” Her voice faded as she searched for the right words.

"Hoss," that one word stated the hope that if one son could love her already the other might eventually love her too. "It is so easy with Hoss."

Clare had turned to look directly into Marie's eyes, "Hoss is like a summer meadow, full of sunshine and sweet flowers. Beautiful, yes, and close by and easy to reach. Adam, well, Adam is the high mountain glen. A hard climb but when you arrive, well, sometimes the beauty can take your breath away."  

Marie gazed across the space between her and Adam as if it were a mile wide. "You were at Clare's? But she would not have you riding home alone in the dark?"

"I didn't come straight home.” Then ever so faintly, "I was too mad."

"At Clare?"

"At you.” He had said it, but it was not the whole truth. He had been mad at Marie, at his father, at Miss Clare, and most of all at himself for wanting what he knew he could not have.

"He had picked her for a mother.” That thought came to her along with the thought that a general description of Clare DeWitt and the description Ben had given of Elizabeth Cartwright matched very well. "No wonder he hated me from the start. I not only smashed his life; I shattered his dreams.” Marie trembled and reached out her hand stopping just short of touching Adam's shoulder.

Adam's eyes were squeezed tightly shut like a four-year-old pretending to be asleep. He sensed Marie's presence with every bit of his body, and part of him wanted to jump up, shout, push her away, run, but most of him was just too tired to do anything even hold it inside anymore.

"You went to say goodbye."

"I told her not to go.” His voice was so weary, but to Marie's surprise he continued. "She tried to talk, but I wouldn't listen. I, I, I shouted at her. I, I, I threw a fit.” The admission left his lips with a violent shudder. Marie held herself still. "She, she smacked my bottom with her ruler. Three licks!” There was petulance in his voice again; he could have been as young as Hoss. "She said she had never let Hoss and me get away with temper tantrums, and she wouldn't start now, that she cared about what kind of men we grew to be.” His voice was full of tears. "But she doesn't care enough to stay!"

Marie dared to touch him. She gently rubbed his back. He was so tense that it was like rubbing a worry stone. "She can still care even if she goes; she can still care no matter how far she goes.” She felt him shudder as he began to sob. She continued to rub his back until he stilled. He had cried himself to sleep. She moved more gently then she had ever before as she rose and slipped from the room.

 ********** 

They had all slept late. Marie wondered how Hop Sing had known they needed to not be disturbed. Now they sat around the table silently eating the breakfast he had waited to prepare. The knock at the door startled them.

Marie opened the door and was surprised for only a moment. "Clare! Do come in."

Clare De Witt smiled and stepped inside. "I, well, I'm leaving to go East tomorrow, and I wanted to tell the boys goodbye.

Hoss had jumped up to run toward the door when Marie had a spoken their guest's name. He stopped dead and exclaimed, "Leavin'!"

Clare turned toward him, went down on her knees, and beckoned him to her. She placed her hands on his waist and looked into his eyes.

"I'm going to go back East and be a teacher, Hoss."

"I don't want ya to, Miss Clare.” The statement was simple and true. It slipped out easily along with Hoss’ lower lip.

She drew him to her but spoke in a clear voice meant to carry to Adam who still stood next to the dining table.

"I know you'll miss me, and I'll miss you and Adam and everyone very, very much," she began.

"Then why ya goin'?"

"Hoss, you know how happy it made me teaching you and Adam. Well, there aren't enough students here for a school and in the East there are lots of children who need a teacher."

"There's ladies there that can teach 'em."

"Yes, but, well, that's not the only reason I'm going.” She bit her lip and then continued, "Hoss, you know how happy your pa has been since he married your mama?"

The little head nodded and smiled.

"Well, he's so happy because he and Marie have found a very special kind of love."

"Pa says there's a special kind of love 'tween married folks."

"That's right. And that love makes a person very happy. I want to find that special love."

"There's lots of mens around here with no wife. You could be in special love with one of them. Couldn't ya?” Hoss’ hand tightened on the cloth of Clare's sleeve.

Clare shook her head. "There's not that special love for me with any of them, Hoss. That's why I have to go away to look for the right man."

"The one that has that special love for you?"

"Yes, Hoss."

"Then ya'll be happy as Pa is now?"

"Yes. Do you understand?"

He nodded and threw his arms around her neck. "I want ya to have that special love, Miss Clare," he whispered in her ear, "even if I's got to miss ya."

"Thank you, Hoss.” Then she continued in a cheery voice. "I'll write you long letters." She saw a frown start to flutter on Hoss’ face at the thought of trying to read any long epistles. "You and Adam can read them together, and he'll help you write back to me. We'll still be, we'll always be friends.” She hugged him tight, released him, and stood. "Hoss, could you run ask Hop Sing if he could make me some of his wonderful coffee and maybe…"

"We's got cookies. Hop Sing baked lots yesterday, and I didn't eat 'em all."

"Oh my, well, then maybe Hop Sing will fix coffee and milk and cookies for my going-away party. Will you go ask?” Clare watched the little boy dart off and then walked to his brother.

Adam looked into her eyes and then dropped his head. "Miss Clare, I…I…I'm sorry."

She raised his chin with her hand. "I forgive you. Do you forgive me for the spanking?"

Adam nodded. "I deserved it.” He shrugged. "It weren't much of a spanking anyways."

Her pointer finger tapped his nose. "It was all that was needed.” She slipped her arm around him as easily as she had Hoss. "So you understand why I have to go?"

"Yep," he answered softly, “but I still don't like it.” His lower lip slipped out further than Hoss’ had. "Who's going to help me with my studies?"

"Your Pa knows more geography and astronomy than I do and almost as much history. You don't need me for mathematics or science, not really. Marie, can teach you French and some Latin too, I expect.” She gently tapped his temple. "That brain of yours can puzzle out most books if you try, young man, and you can write to me if you get well and truly stuck. If I don't know the answer, there'll be people I can ask. I'll not be an excuse for slacking off, Adam Cartwright. Understand me?” Her voice had taken on a stern tone.

"Yes, ma’am."

She hugged him, and Adam hugged her back so hard she could not breathe.

"Miss Clare!” Hoss came dashing back into the room, and Adam released his hold on Clare. "Hop Sing says take off ya hat and sit down to the table 'cause he's fixin' the 'freshments, and we's gonna say goodbye right. Tell her, Mama."

"You know we must all do as Hop Sing tells us, Clare." Marie spoke for the first time since inviting Clare to enter.

Clare laughed, "Of course I know about obeying Hop Sing!” She took Hoss’ hand and then Adam's, and walked with them to the dining table.

Hoss had made the great sacrifice of allowing Clare the last cookie. Then Marie had sent the boys out to give Clare's horse an apple and a drink before he had to pull her buggy home. Marie walked Clare to the door.

"Ben will be sorry he wasn't here to say goodbye. He should be back this afternoon."

"He said he'd see me to the stage.” Clare bit her lip. "If you mind, Marie…"

"I don't," Marie hurried to say, "Clare, I hope you find what you're looking for."

"If the Lord pleases. Marie, see that Ben writes and lets me know how the boys are doing."

"We'll all write. Long, long letters," Marie assured.

"Everything's ready.” Adam's voice reached them through the open door. 

After hugs and kisses all around, Clare got in her buggy and left.

********** 

Hoss heard the door open and sprang up from the floor where he had been playing with his blocks. 

"Pa! PA! Pa's home!” Hoss ran and launched himself into Ben Cartwright's arms. Adam stood up from the table where he had been doing lessons, and Marie set down her sewing to rise and go toward her husband.

Ben scooped up his son and hugged him. Hoss smacked his father's cheek with a kiss. "I missed ya, Pa, something awful."

"I missed you too, Son, but I'm home now, and that's all that matters." Ben squeezed the little boy to him and kissed his cheek. "Boy, am I glad to be home!” Ben looked over at his wife with a special smile.

"We're very glad too, Benjamin, that you are home. So very glad!" Marie returned his smile.

"Now, Hoss,” Ben said returning his attention to the boy in his arms, "were you a good boy while I was gone?"

Hoss nodded solemnly, “I was good, Pa. Tell him, Mama, I was a good boy."

"Yes, he was a very good boy, Ben."

Ben beamed at his young son and then turned his attention to his firstborn. "And you, Adam, were you a good boy?” Ben's tone was light and teasing until he noticed Adam's stance and bowed head. "You were a good boy, weren't you?” Ben set Hoss back on his feet.

Adam swallowed and managed a soft, "No, sir."

Ben's smile disappeared, and his brows drew together. He glanced at Marie questioningly and then fixed his stare on Adam. "Do we need to have a private talk?"

Adam kept his eyes fixed on his feet but answered, "Yes, sir."

"Wait for me in your room," Disappointment at the souring of his homecoming added harshness to Ben's voice. Adam darted away and up the stairs.

Hoss tugged at his father's sleeve. "Pa, don't bees mad with Adam, please, Pa."

Ben patted Hoss’ head soothingly. "Marie?"

"Hoss, go help Hop Sing in the kitchen." Marie ordered gently.

Hoss wanted to stay, but Pa was mad, so he obeyed.

"What did the boy do, Marie?” Both Marie and Adam's faces had told him that the infraction was more than a misdemeanor.

"Let Adam tell you.” She moved closer. "Benjamin, don't tan him, please."

"If the boy has earned a tanning, Marie…" Obviously Adam had earned just that, or Marie would not be making the request.

"There were reasons, Benjamin, you must… "

"I must do what is necessary to teach my son right from wrong," Ben stated firmly. "As much as I hate it!” he finished to himself. "Would you have me ignore what he has done?"

"Well…no, but …It's just…” She took his hand and raised it palm-side up. "A spanking, Benjamin, promise me it will be only a spanking for a naughty boy. That's all he was really, a naughty boy."

Ben sighed. "A spanking then.” Marie raised his hand and kissed the palm. Ben drew her into his arms and gave her a much longer kiss.

 *********** 

Adam heard his father's single knock and watched his bedroom door open. He shifted nervously, dropped his eyes, and tried to steady his breathing. He told himself it wasn't the first time his pa had tanned him, but how he hoped it was the last!

Ben walked over to where Adam stood next to the window. His finger raised Adam's eyes. "Tell me what you did."

Adam swallowed twice before he could begin. "I went off to Miss Clare's without telling anyone."

"You left the ranch without permission and with no one knowing where you were?' The edge to Ben's voice cut into his son, and Adam dropped his eyes again.

"And?” Ben demanded the rest of the story with one word.

"I didn't come straight back; I…I got home real late."

"How late, Adam?"

"An hour after dark."

"Adam Stoddard Cartwright!” Ben bellowed his son's name, but then sucked down his growing anger. "Is that all of it?"

"N,n,n,n,no, s,s,sir." Adam couldn't keep from stuttering.

"The rest of it, Adam."

"I was, was rude to Miss Clare, and…and dis, disrespectful to Marie.” Adam's voice broke, and Ben could hear the tears that filled his son. "I'm sorry, Pa. I'm sorry."

Ben glared down at his son. A tanning is exactly what the boy had earned and a severe one at that. "There were reasons.” The lilting tones of his wife's voice filled his mind.

"Why, Adam?"

"I went to say good-bye."

The loss in his son's voice washed Ben's anger away. He had not let himself think about how much losing Clare would mean to his son. Ben sighed. Still the boy could not be allowed to think that such behavior was ever acceptable. The thought of his son riding alone through the dark strengthened Ben's resolve.

"You understand why I have to punish you even though I forgive you?"

Adam could answer only with a nod. Ben took him by the upper arm and led him over to the bed. Adam stood still and tense wishing his father had taken him out to the barn where no one else would hear. Tannings were usually administered in the barn.

Ben sat down. "Britches down and across my knees."

Adam realized his father was going to spank, not tan, him. His eyes widened, "Pa?"

"You shall get the spanking you deserve, Adam. Now do as I said."

Ben closed the bedroom door behind him and was surprised to see his wife standing in the hall. Marie shook her head.

"You did not stay with him." Her vehemence made it an accusation.

"He's twelve, Marie, not six. He doesn't expect to be cuddled after a spanking like Hoss." 

"Twelve!" Marie spat the word at her husband. "So twelve needs only his father's hand in judgment, not in love!” Her eyes blazed.

"It's not that, Marie. Adam is just not one for…"

"He is your son!” Ben marveled at how a whisper could sound so much like a shout. “Go to your son, Benjamin, or do not come to me!"

Marie spun on her heel, went to her bedroom, and shut the door behind her. Ben shook his head and turned slowly. He opened Adam's door and stepped inside the room. He gazed at his son curled up around his pillow shoulders shaking. Adam looked no older than Hoss at that moment. In three strides, Ben was across the room. Ben Cartwright was a tall man and hard work had strengthened him. He scooped up his firstborn as easily has he would have his youngest and held the boy as he cried. Then they talked quietly about Clare's leaving and other things that had needed saying since Ben had returned from New Orleans.

 ********** 

Hoss forgot to knock and entered Adam's room unannounced. He walked across to where his brother lay on his bed and climbed up next to Adam's back. Adam woke instantly and turned to face Hoss. 

"Mama sent me to get ya. Supper's soon," the little boy announced.

Adam rubbed his hand over his face and shook his head. "I'm not hungry. Tell Marie I don't want supper."

"Now, Adam, you's gots to eat," Hoss admonished in a very grown-up tone. "Even if ya gots a sore bottom, Pa makes ya come eat."

"It's not my bottom!" Adam replied grumpily giving Hoss a slight push. "I just ain't hungry!"

Hoss remained unmoved. "You ain't hungry 'cause ya got a spanking, and ya know Pa'll come get ya, so come on.” Hoss placed both hands on Adam's wrist and tugged.

Adam grumbled under his breath and wished his little brother were a little more little. 

"Boys, get washed and come down to supper.” Their father's voice reached the brothers, and they both scrambled off the bed. Adam helped Hoss wash his face and hands and then steered him toward the stairs.

"Adam."

"What?” They had reached the landing halfway down. Adam paused to gaze at Hoss.

"Ya don't have ta worry. Ya'll have Mama's cushion."

"I don't need a cushion!" Adam sputtered.

"It's okay, Brudder. We's both got cushions.” Hoss tried to wink the way Adam did when they shared an understanding, but he only achieved a blink before he darted down the stairs.

Adam saw his pa seating his stepmother and felt his cheeks flush. His father would expect him to apologize to Marie. Adam paused and shifted nervously. It wasn't that he wasn't sorry; he just hated apologizing to anyone, let alone his stepmother. He swallowed and went to stand behind his seat. Fixing his eyes on his plate, he said in barely more than a whisper, "I'm sorry, ma’am, for…for yesterday."

Ben cleared his throat. He expected a more specific apology from his son. Marie hurried to say, “All is forgiven, Adam. Sit down now. We must eat before the food gets cold."

Adam slid into his chair. Feeling the cushion beneath him, he raised his eyes to look at his brother across the table. Catching his attention, Adam dropped his right eyelid in an exaggerated wink. Hoss giggled. Then both boys folded their hands and bowed their heads for grace.

Ben and Marie did most of the talking with an occasional excited interjection from Hoss. Adam kept his eyes on his plate and managed to down everything on it, but when Hop Sing brought in the Apple Brown Betty for desert, he shook his head.

"Hoss can have mine," he muttered softly. Hoss beamed silently his mouth already full of his own serving. Ben cleared his throat. "If that's all right," Adam hurried to add.

Hoss swallowed quickly. "Please."

"That's fine if Adam is sure he will not want it later," Marie replied glancing at Ben and then at Adam's bowed head.

"I won't. May I be excused? I have lessons to finish."

"You may," Ben acceded and then gave his younger son a significant look.

Hoss swallowed quickly remembering his manners. "Thanks, Adam."

"You're welcome.” Adam slipped from his chair and started to walk toward his father's desk. As he passed his father, Ben reached out and caught his arm gently. Adam chanced a glance at Ben's eyes. Seeing his father was not angry with him, Adam gave his pa a shy smile. Ben patted his arm, and Adam lifted his head as he went to complete his studies.

Adam felt a presence beside the desk and looked up to see his little brother leaning over the far side toward him.

"Ya almost done?" Hoss inquired peering at the paper in front of his brother.

"Almost."

Hoss turned and darted toward his father who was reading in front of the fire.

"Adam's most done, Pa. Will ya tell us a story please 'fore we have ta go to bed? Please, Pa, please?"

"A story, Hoss? What kind of story?"

An expression of concentration came over the little boy's face. He loved all his pa's stories:  stories about his sailings days, stories about traveling west, stories of great men and things from history.

Hoss smiled. "Story about when you was little, Pa. A story about you and Uncle John."

Ben looked over at Adam and then reached out to pick up Hoss and settle the boy in his lap. "A story then when Adam is finished."

Adam watched his father and brother and remembered when his pa would hold him in his lap to tell him stories. He wished he were still little enough to cuddle in his father's lap. Then he blushed at the thought that he had not been too grown for Pa to hold just hours ago.

"I'm done, Pa," Adam said as he stacked his books in their appropriate place on the shelf behind him.

"Come on then."

Adam settled himself on the end of the settee nearest his father. Marie kept her eyes on her knitting but her ears on the exchange between her husband and sons.

"Well, let's see. Have I told you boys about John and I and the Leigh Point Demon?" Ben began.

At the word demon, Hoss’ eyes grew round as saucers, and Marie cleared her throat meaningfully.

"A demon gots after ya?” Hoss gasped.

A gleam entered Ben's eyes. He chuckled and said, "No, a demon most certainly did not get after us.” Then he added for his wife's benefit, "Neither is this a scary story. You see, it was John and I who played the demon."

This time it was Adam's eyes that grew round and sparkled. He leaned closer to his father. "You pulled a prank."

"That we did. Quite a whopper of a prank.” Ben said looking first at Adam and then at Marie who cleared her throat meaningfully once again. "And if I hear of anything remotely like this happening here abouts, I'll know who to deal with and how.” Ben's voice was just stern enough to hold a warning.

Adam settled back against the settee. "I only use my own ideas, Pa." There was just enough cheekiness in the statement to show Ben that Adam was coming back to his usual self, so he let the statement pass.

"You see," he launched into his tale, "there was a legend about a demon who haunted Leigh Point which was quite near out home. One day Jason Culbrite came to school. He had been scared when out on the point, disobediently I might add, the night before. Amy Sue Jenson started in teasing him, and her friends made him miserable about it the next two days."

"That was mean, Pa, real mean to be teasing." Hoss observed."

"Yes, Hoss, it was. Jason and John were good friends, and that's when we decide to teach Amy Sue a lesson."

"By making her see the demon," Adam interjected. Ben nodded. Neither of his sons had ever been able to listen to a story without comment.

"It took us almost a week to create our demon.” Glancing at Adam, he quickly stated, "No, I shall not tell you how. It's enough to say that in the moonlight out on that deserted point with me to move it, and John to supply the sounds it was most realistic." 

"Uncle John was good at howlin' and such like, Pa?"

"Yes, Hoss, very good. Well, Jason dared Amy Sue and some of her friends to sneak out to the point when the moon was high. He led them to where John and I had hidden ourselves and the demon. Then we put on quite a show. Those girls' screams drowned out even John. Then they took off at a dead run all the way back to town. The thing is they didn't bother to calm down and sneak back into their homes like any sensible boy would have. They woke half the town and blurted out to everyone that the demon was out at Leigh Point."

"Girls don't have any sense sometimes," Adam observed. Marie's meaningful throat clearing was directed at Adam this time, and he took due note of it keeping further negative observations about the female gender to himself.

"Well, while John, Jason, and I were rolling on the sand laughing our heads off, congratulating ourselves, and reliving the moment over and over; a group of men formed a posse to come to investigate."

"Did ya hear them coming?"

"Just in time to run for cover and head home but not in time to take the demon with us."

"Did they find it?” Adam was once again leaning over the settee's arm toward Ben.

"That they did, and brought it back to town. We all got back into our beds without being caught, gloating about what we had done and how we had gotten away with it."

Adam said softly, "But you didn't, did you?” Adam could not remember his pa ever telling him about doing wrong without telling him about consequences.

"No, we did not. Every man in town took a good look at that demon, and some of what we had used to make it was identifiable as coming from the Cartwright home. Jason's father recognized some of the rest. We didn't know until we came home from school, and Father was home. Then Mr. Culbrite arrived with Jason and the demon in tow."

"Ya didn't try to lie, did ya, Pa?" A very worried look had come over Hoss’ face.

"We did not make that mistake. Our confession was quick and complete as was our punishment, but Father did take into account our motivation."

"Did you have to apologize?"

"Yes, Adam, we certainly did. To the girls, their families, and the men who had gone out searching. That was no doubt the worst of it, but Amy Sue's father did get to hear the reason, and he was not pleased with his daughter."

"Was it worth it, Pa?” It would be Adam who asked that question. 

He looked at his son and decided he must follow his own rules about honesty. "Not until many years later, and, as I said, Father was more lenient than I would be."

Adam smiled. "Point taken, Pa."

"Grandpa Cartwright forgived ya and Uncle John?" Hoss wanted to hear that those boys had been forgiven.

"Yes, Hoss, our father forgave us, as did our mother. Though some in the town kept bringing up that story for years. Why the last time I was there, I heard about it."

"Our pa, the Demon of Leigh Point. Now isn't that something, Hoss."

"Sure is, Adam. Pa ifin' ya made us a demon next Hallow's Eve…"

"Hoss, I will not be making any more demons at all not ever." He gave Adam a look that signaled he would not be creating demons either. "Now," he said as he stood with Hoss in his arms and slung him over his shoulder, "it's time you two were in bed."

"Can I read a bit, Pa?"

"One chapter, Adam, no more.” Ben gave his son a stern look and received Adam's nod in response. Then he took Hoss up the stairs to bed.

Ben opened Adam's door. "I said one chapter, Son."

Adam closed his book and answered quickly, "It was a long chapter, Pa."

Ben walked over to Adam's lamp and blew it out. Then he heard his son's voice in the darkness.

"Pa, did you, well, did you pick that story, so, well, to tell me that you messed up sometimes when you were a boy?"

"We all mess up sometimes, Adam. After you confess, take your punishment, and learn from it, well, then it's time to let it go."

"You spank too hard to let it go quick."

"Is that so?"

"Bottom's still sore, and I'm still sorry, Pa."

Ben reached out and ruffled Adam's hair. "Remember that the next time you're tempted to take off like that. Did you say your prayers?"

"Yes, sir."

"Did you ask for forgiveness?"

"Yes."

"Then accept it, Adam. I love you; your family loves you; God loves you. Remember that, Son."

"I love you, Pa."

"Sweet dreams then."

As Ben reached the door, Adam spoke again, "Thanks for not making it a tanning, Pa."

"You should be thanking your mother for that," Ben replied softly and closed the door behind him.

Adam rolled over on his stomach. So, Marie had spoken in his favor. Adam did not know whether that made him feel better or worse.

 *********** 

Adam opened his eyes to see his brother's blue ones reflecting his face back at him. At one time he and Hoss had shared a bed every night and waking face to face with him was a common event; however, each brother now had his own bed, and Hoss seldom came to Adam's without reason. He lifted himself up and quickly asked, "What's the matter, Hoss?"

Hoss sat up and stated solemnly, "Adam, you can't never do it again."

"What?"

"You can't never do it again 'cause I was scared, and Mama was scared. I was really, really scared, Adam, 'cause you’re my big brother. I couldn't never be without ya, Brudder, never." 

The realization that he had caused his little brother to be truly afraid cut into Adam with a physical pain. He grabbed Hoss in a bear hug. "I'm sorry, Hoss. I'm so sorry I scared ya."

Hoss’ arms reached up to encircle Adam's neck, and he whispered into Adam's ear, "I forgives ya, but ya can't never do it no more."

Adam's mind searched for a way to reassure Hoss. "I won't. Hoss, you know I won't. You know I never do something again once Pa tans me for it." At least not exactly the same thing,” he finished to himself.

"Pa didn't tan ya; he just spanked ya."

"He spanked real, real hard though. It was close enough to a tanning.” Adam and Hoss shared an intent look. Hoss considered Adam's statement for a long minute.

"Okay.” Hoss slid off Adam's bed. "We gots to get dressed 'fore Pa hollers."

"Yeah." Adam slipped from under the bed covers.

"Adam." Hoss had stopped to look over his shoulder at his brother. He had on his little-old-man face. "I ain't no baby no more, so ya can tell me. Ifin' ya can't tell grown folk, ya can tell me.” Then his gap-toothed grin appeared, and for the first time ever Hoss Cartwright mastered a true wink.

 ********** 

Marie walked over to where Adam was finishing his morning chores. The boy certainly was a hard worker, she acknowledged to herself, especially the past three weeks. Since his spanking, Adam had been trying very had to be a very good boy. Even with her he had been, if not warm, at least polite. He had not been insolent once since coming home from seeing Clare. She bit her lip and sighed.

"Adam."

Adam stopped and looked up at his stepmother. "Ma’am?"

"I need to speak to you.” Her tone was serious.

Adam's mind did a quick search to see if he might have done anything to displease his stepmother. He honestly did not think so. Then he gave Marie his full, if puzzled, attention.

"Tom tells me his wife is not well." 

Adam nodded. Mrs. Hodges was having a baby, and things seemed to be going hard with her.

"Hop Sing and I are going over to check on her and give her a hand, so you will need to watch Hoss today."

Adam started to make a protest but swallowed it unspoken. It would not matter that his father had said he might have the day for himself after regular chores. Marie and Hop Sing were doing a good deed, so he would be tending his little brother.

"Yes, ma’am."

Marie saw the disappointment in Adam's eyes that she had expected, but there was no help for it.

"Hop Sing will leave you boys something for lunch in the kitchen."

"Could..." Adam swallowed nervously, "could he pack us something instead. See, well, Pa said I could meet Ross at the lake to go fishing. Hoss can come with us. Hoss likes fishing."

A worried frown creased Marie's brow. "In the pond, oui, but the lake. Adam, it is a long ride for a little one, and the lake is so deep."

"Hoss is a good rider, and he's ridden there before." That's true even if it was with Pa on Buck.  

Marie shook her head gently. "But the lake, Adam.” The lake could be a dangerous place for a little boy, for both her little boys.  

"I'll watch him real close, and Hoss minds me. You know he does.” Adam tried to keep the whine out of his voice, but it crept into his final words.

Marie looked into Adam's eyes and bit her lip. If there had been insolence or disrespect there, she could have said no.

"Please."

The word was spoken so softly that Marie was not certain he had said it. Marie told herself that Adam had been responsible for Hoss many times in many situations before her arrival.

"You must be very careful and not be late."

"Thank you!” Without thinking, Adam took a step forward his arms reaching toward Marie. For a moment she thought he might hug her, but he stopped short. "Thank you, ma’am. I'll mind him real well, and we won't be late.” A shy smile flickered on Adam's lips. "I don’t want to need a cushion at table tonight."

"Remember that." Marie's voice was only half-teasing.

"I will." Adam tossed back as he darted off to tell Hop Sing and Hoss.

Marie shook her head again and then crossed herself. "Holy Mother, keep my boys in your care. Keep them safe for me."  

********** 

Adam looked over to watch his little brother as he concentrated on guiding his pony down the trail. Hoss’ Goldie was a sturdy, old female with a gentle but determined disposition that matched Hoss’ own. Hoss felt his brother's eyes on him and said, "I's fine, Adam; you's being a worry wart."

"I've got a little wart to worry over," Adam teased. "You need to stop a minute?"

"Noo!” Exasperation had crept into Hoss’ voice. "You's acting like I ain't never rode no where."

"Fine then. Come on.” Adam quickened his speed slightly, and Hoss managed to coax a little more from Goldie.

"Adam?” A few minutes had passed. "You think we could do a little swimming after we fish."

"No!” Adam's response was immediate and sharp.

"Why not," Hoss whined.

"Lake water's too cold."

"Can't be that cold, Adam. I'm plum hot!"

"You're riding in the sun, and the water in the lake comes from the mountains, and I said no, and that's the end of it."

"Weeell, then, maybe we could just take off our boots and wade in a little. Just a little ways, Adam."

Adam stopped his horse and fixed his full glare on his little brother. "I SAID NO!"

Goldie had stopped also, and Hoss sat in the saddle looking at his brother. Adam's fierceness caused the six-year-old's eyes to well and his lip to quiver.

"Don't you go crying 'cause I said no."

"You's being mean," Hoss accused.

Adam sighed. "I don't want to be mean, Hoss."

"Ya yelled 'most as loud as Pa."

"I'm sorry I yelled, but we can't go in the lake."

"But I just want to…"

"Hoss, if you stick even the tip of your boot in that lake, we'll go straight home, and I'll take you straight to Pa and tell him you wouldn't mind me."

Hoss gasped. The few times Adam had felt compelled to tell their pa about Hoss not minding when Adam was in charge the result had always been the same.

"I'd get a spankin', Brudder.” Hoss' lips both quivered.

"Hoss, if I let you put a toe in that water, Marie will have Pa skin the hide right off my backside."

"Mama'd be mad?"

"Very!" Adam sighed again.  "Marie said yes to fishing and if anything else goes on, I'll get a tanning for sure."

"Even if I's the one that just up and done it?"

Adam could see there was one way to keep Hoss on his best behavior at the lake, and Adam decided he had to use it. "Marie made me responsible, so if you don't mind me, you get your britches warmed, but I get my tail burned too."

"I'll mind ya, Adam; I'll mind ya real good,” Hoss assured his brother nodding his head vigorously.

"I know you will, little brother, and we'll catch a mess of fish to take back to Hop Sing, and Pa will see how good we were and let us come up to the lake on our own more.” Adam gave his little brother a deep smile. Hoss grinned back and set Goldie into motion once again.

When they reached the lake, Ross was already there. 

"Hey, Adam, what in tarnation…"

Adam shook his head sharply and interjected, "Hoss came with me because Marie and Hop Sing had to go help Tom Hodges's wife.” He did not say that it was a choice of bringing Hoss or not coming at all because Ross should have sense enough to see that for himself.

"Oh." The one word summed up Ross's opinion of the situation, but Hoss was too busy dismounting and tethering Goldie to notice the older boy's tone or eye roll.

Adam tethered his own mount, checked that Goldie was firmly tethered, and settled Hoss with a fishing pole in a secure spot. He and Ross then settled with their poles just far enough away to whisper without Hoss following their conversation, but close enough to see everything the six-year-old did. If Hoss so much as leaned forward, Adam's sharp exclamation, pulled the child right back.

"You'd think that having a stepma would at least mean you'd be able to have a day to yourself without the little pest now and then."

Adam bristled at his friend's reference to his little brother even though much the same thought had gone through Adam's own head at times. "Hoss ain't a pest, Ross. Don't call him that."

"Don't get your tail feathers all ruffled, Adam. I didn't mean nothing by it. Hoss is a good sort, and you know I like him. It's just he's a little kid; he ain't much more than a baby even if he don't look it."

"He's growing up," Adam observed.

"Yeah, but he ain't grown like us. There's things we can't do with him along."

"We came up here to fish, and he's doing that."

"We could of fished at your pond, only somebody's always riding by and noticing what we're doing," Ross stated with exasperation.

Adam gave his friend a long look. "Just what did you have planned that you didn't want nobody noticing we were doing?"

"I brought some of my pa's tobacco and two pipes I made out of cobs.” Ross's voice had dropped to the barest whisper.

"Your pa said you could…."

"You crazy! My pa don't know, and he won't be finding out."

"Pa would kill me. He's told me more than once.” Adam shuddered at the thought.

"What he don't know…"

"Well, Hoss, is here, so there's no way…"

"Like I said …"

Hoss shouted that he had a fish, and Adam jumped up to help.

The boys fished for an hour and caught several fish large enough to be good eating. Hoss’ interest was waning and his squirming increasing, so Adam decided it was time to eat the lunch Hop Sing had sent. Hop Sing, of course, had packed enough for at least four hungry boys.

"Hop Sing sure makes things tasty," Ross observed, "and he always sends something sweet.” Ross had downed six of Hop Sing's sugar cookies.

"Yeah." Adam stretched out on his stomach. Hoss did the same in imitation of his big brother. Ross joined them.

"There's more fish in the lake," Ross observed lazily.

"Yeah." Adam continued to stare idly.

"Sally Anne's sure getting a nice set of bosoms."

Adam jerked up. "Ross!" he hissed. "If Hoss repeats that…"

"Hoss is asleep," Ross pointed out, and a soft snore attested to that fact.

Adam looked down at his brother. It had been over a year since Hoss had taken a daily nap, but evidently a full belly, the warm sun, and the morning's activities had resulted in his little brother drifting off.

"Hoss sleeps sound, don't he?" Ross inquired.

"Pretty sound.” Ross stood up and quietly slipped a distance away. Adam followed him, but kept his sleeping brother in sight at all times. The two older boys settled themselves against a large boulder. Ross brought out the tobacco and pipes. He filled both of them and tried to hand Adam one of them.

Adam bit his lip. "I can't, Ross. Like I said, Pa would kill me."

"He won't know."

"Can't."

"You scared?" Ross asked with a derisive snort.

Adam fixed Ross with a look of distain. "Would you be scared of facing my pa and his belt?” Adam knew that Ben Cartwright had intimidated his friend on more than one occasion.

 Ross shrugged. "Suit yourself; I'm going to smoke.” Ross proceeded to light one of the pipes and started to puff. Adam had enough sense to see that this was not Ross's first time smoking.

"How long have you been smoking?"

"About a month," Ross answered. The two boys had had very little opportunity to see each other outside of church for the past month, so Adam was not surprised Ross had not revealed his secret before now.

"Has your pa caught you?"

"Not once. Sure you don't want to?"

Adam shook his head. The two boys sat together with Ross happily puffing his pipe and discussed various subjects including the recent physical development of some of the girls in their Sunday school class.

Hoss woke and raised himself to a sitting position. Adam popped to his feet, and Ross shoved the now empty pipes into his pockets. 

"He didn't see, did he?" Ross hissed.

Adam gestured for Ross to be quiet and went to his brother. "Awake now, are ya, sleepyhead?” He dropped to the ground beside Hoss. 

Hoss rubbed his eyes. "Just closed my eyes a minute, Adam."

Adam chuckled, and Ross walked up cackling. "A minute that was two hours long," Ross commented as he too settled on the grass, "Old Man Netter don't nap that long."

"Weren't napping!” Hoss’ lower lip slipped forward at the implication he was a baby who still took naps.

Adam ruffled his brother's hair, "Call it what you want, little brother, but you've snored away the rest of the fish in that lake."

"Didn't!"

"Don't matter if you did," Ross observed, "It's time to go anyway."

"That's right," added Adam jumping to his feet and hauling Hoss with him. "Come on, Hoss; we can't be late."

"Okay, okay.” Hoss shook off his brother's hand and stated toward his pony. Then he stopped short. "You two didn’t do nothing fun whilst I was asleep, did ya?"

Ross opened his mouth ready to launch into a tirade on the wonderful things they had done without the boy, but Adam slapped him on the back and took his breath away.

"Didn't do hardly anything but be lazy ourselves. Talked some is all.” Adam did not want his brother focusing on what had happened while he napped.

"Sure?"

"Sure!"

"Okay.” Hoss grinned and went to Goldie. Adam bid Ross goodbye and mounted. The Cartwright boys made it home with time to spare.

Marie heard the horses and looked up to watch her sons ride up to the barn. "Thank you, Holy Mother, for keeping them safe."  

Hoss slide off Goldie and ran to the porch where Marie had been doing the mending. "Mama, we's back.” Hoss flung himself against Marie's lap, and she reached to give him a welcome hug and kiss.

"So I see.” Her eyes scanned the youngster and then Adam as he walked up. "Safe and sound I see."

"Just like I said we'd be.” Adam's tone was too light for Marie to consider it insolent.

"And early too. So Hoss was a good boy?” Marie's hand tousled Hoss’ hair while her eyes settled on Adam.

"I was real good, Mama. Tell her, Adam."

"Well,&qu